1) So for practice do you just swim laps? (No we do shuttle runs, or practice shooting hoops)
2) So what's like your time for a lap? I think I've done it in like 10 seconds before.
3) The butterfly is like this right? *followed by poor imitation of man drowning*
4) So are you gonna be like Michael Phelps?
5) That's the stroke Michael Phelps does, right?
6) I could probably beat you. (lol)
7) Swimming is easy.
8) A lap is one way right?
9) Do you swim in a 100 meter pool?
10) Do you smoke pot? Cause Michael Phelps does so you must.
11) So am I gonna see you at the Olympics one day?
12) When you make it to the Olympics, remember me!
13) Which stroke is this one? *Indiscernible motion*
14) My favorite stroke is the butterfly, but I can't do it.
15) (After a meet) Did you win? (The meet? An event? A relay? Team points? Individual points?)
16) Do you wear a speedo? *giggle* (FYI it's called a brief; speedo is a brand name)
17) Are you gonna win *insert big national meet here*?
18) How many lengths is a 500?
19) How many miles/lengths/laps do you swim in a practice? (try yards.)
20) Why do you wear your suits so tight?
21) I practice laps in the pool in my backyard. I'm pretty fast, I could probably beat you.
22) How often do you shave your legs?
23) I don't have enough body fat to swim, I would sink.
24) Wow, those hand paddles must really help you swim fast in those big swim meets!
25) Can you use fins a race? Those would help a lot.
26) So do you swim the crawl thingy?
27) Can you teach me how to do the weird flippy thing?
28) How was your game?
29) How do you get that hat on?
30) Do you wear those diaper suits?
31) You: I swam a 100 freestyle. Friend: Woah you swam 100 laps in a race???
32) Who's the best person on your team?
33) Could you beat Phelps?
34) So what do you do at practice?
35) The breaststroke is the easy one, right?
36) Do you have to shave down there?
37) How do you swim in the winter, wouldn't the water be frozen?
38) *after swimming for 10 years* dad: "so, what did you guys do at practice today?" me: "oh we did pretty much everything. sprint stuff, kicking, pulling, and distance." dad: "pulling?" me: "you know...with a pull buoy..." dad: "what's a pull buoy?"
parents can be such noobs.
39) Swimming only requires upper body strength.
40) Is breaststroke the one that looks like a frog??
41) Do you sweat when you swim?
42) Did you bleach your hair?
43) Swimming's so easy, all you have to do is jump in and try to beat the other people!
44) Do you wear goggles when you swim?
45) I should join the swim team I'm pretty fast.
46) Do you shave your eyebrows?
47) Why do you wear drag suits? Doesn't that make you slower?
48) Swimming doesn't take skill, just strength.
49) Have you tried a bong before?
50) So if you like wear a cap, then how is your hair still wet when you get out?
51) What's your time for a swim race? (Which...?)
52) I'm so tired! (You try having the life of a swimmer)
53) If you keep swimming you could probably be faster than Michael Phelps!
54) How do you eat so much!?
55) How fast can you do elementary backstroke/sidestroke?
56) Do you ever pee in the pool?
57) Do you wear a cap so your hair doesn't get wet?
58) Swimming isn't really a sport. All you do is go up and down a pool. (explain other sports then, and why swimming is an Olympic event.)
59) (Sport other than swimming) is so much harder than any other sport!
60) Does shaving make a difference? (No, we do it for fun...?)
61) Why do you have red circles around your eyes?
62) I used to swim, I was a black belt.
63) What's IM?
64) How do you sprint in a pool?
65) You smell like chlorine.
66) (For the ladies ;) ) non-swimmer: oh my god, i haven't shaved in 2 weeks, my legs are disgusting!
swimmer: i haven't shaved my legs in 3 months...
67) Do you pee in the pool?
68) Swimmers don't need muscles.
69) nonswimmer: oh your date was so hot! swimmer: (confused) i guess? i don't normally see him/her with clothes on...
70) It's 50 feet, right?
71) How can you be so tired after sitting around all day at a meet and only swimming two events?
72) (At 9-11 A.M. on a weekend) I just woke up, it's so early!
73) *Basically any question a non-swimmer asks regarding a specific thing you did at practice*
74) Swimming r sooo ghey!
75) So when is swimming over?
76) Swimming's easy, when you get tired all you have to do is float on your back.
77) What's that smell?
78) How do you eat so much?
79) What's dryland? You swim on land?
80) That thing on your head looks like a whoopee cushion cut in half.
81) 100? How far is that...?
82) Swimming isn't a sport; it's an activity. There's no defense...
83) I can do the backwards thing!
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