things are never what it looks like.

i try to give you the best of me that i do know, but it's really hard. 
i try to be there for you, but i get really scared. 
i try not to yell back at you just to not lose my temper, but i've lost that strength.
i have a lot of things i should tell you, but i'll never know what to say. 
i want a lot, as you know, but i'm not sure what exactly it is i want.
i say some things that don't come out the way they are in my head and that never ends up right, i'm sorry. 
i need to chose my words more wisely and i need to stop speaking before i think. 
i'm sorry i'm a mess, i really am.