things are never what it looks like.

 i felt like i was trapped in one of those terrifying nightmares, the ones where you have to run, run till your lungs burst, but you can't make your body move fast enough. but time passes. even when it seems impossible. even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. it passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. even for me.   Time passes and i woke up. My cheeks were wet, but it wasn’t from sadness. I was so happy, in my dream. Until i started running down the endless road, looking for the finish point.

Three years later, i finally found the finish point; here. It’s been here all along, i was just too busy searching for it elsewhere that i didn’t notice what was right in front of me.

What i was looking for, was a place where i felt safe and sound, where i knew nothing could get me. Then i realized that there wasnt a certain place where i felt safe, it all depended on who i was around.

Wherever you are, i feel safe. When you’re not around, i feel like im going to break into little pieces.but i guess people adapt to new environments quickly. I got used to your absence, i learned to cope with it. Still, every once in a while, i have these quick flashbacks reminding what it’s like to live without you.