official statement.... ah fuck it.

him being happy comes first, me later.

now, i've decided that. and thats not gonna change. however the fact that maybe i am gonna get hurt watching him be happy scares me. i know i said i was gonna stop letting others come before myself but i did fall for him pretty badly, and i want him to be happy.

theres honestly nothing i can do anymore, what with him liking her without her doing anything. like literally, shes done nothing but exist in this world, and that was more than enough reason for him to like her. i can't beat that. i know that much.

so what i've decided was that im gonna be his friend, friend only, and im gonna encourage him. and be there for him all the time. but not let my own feelings be a negative factor for his relationships.

and that might be the cause of more stress for me emotionally, but that doesn't matter. i've done this before, and i can do it again now. and im gonna go to Sweets Paradise + Karaoke + halloween costume shopping w/ Yui, the birthday girl, Sakura, Mizuki & Erina. now THAT should be my all-time stress reliever, therefore; it'll even out. i'll live.

i can do this. just.fucking.watch.me.