dear.

this post is dedicated to the two people that i have met since i moved to Japan.
i don't think you two would ever read this, but that's okay because i just need this written down somewhere, for the record. in case i ever have the chance to say this to you face to face.

1.
you were the first one i saw when i walked into the classroom. we didn't really talk until like mid-october, when we met in the morning and then our seats changed and that was the beginning. i had already heard about you by then, and it was nice to really get to know you. it was a bit shocking though, middle of november but i guess you're happy now so that's alright :) and we've been talking a lot lately, and i honestly respect you on the things you say. it makes me think about myself, and how i can't just sit here and sulk around. we're not like, best friends, and i don't think we ever will be, but that's okay because i know i need some distance from you, at least for now, and i like how we are right now, with us being acquaintances.

2.
the first time i saw you, i wasn't the least bit interested in you. you were just a guy in our class, who were talkative, flirty and indifferent. and then came mid-november, and i had that bit of shock mentioned above, and then we talked about random things. and thats how i started. even though it now is becoming a contest to see who could care less, and even though i was a bit disappointed in you, and even though you and your little friends dislike me for that one little thing i said, im still reminded of what you mean to me now. the times we talk to each other accidentally, like last friday, those are the times that hurt the most. i find myself interested in what you say, or just us in general, and knowing we cant even be friends hurt me a lot. because you took away that option when you misunderstood what i had meant. but i guess thats alright, because i need to distance myself from you. good luck with the sport you are doing, and dont just throw it all away because you feel a bit of pain in the parts of your body. if you do, all your effort is gonna be washed down the drain.

and, at last,
my most sincere thanks goes to both of you.