if your 10 year old self met you, would she be proud?
to be honest, no. i've gotten so caught up in how people see me, i've forgotten to be myself. and even in grade 5, i kept wondering why everyone had to be the same all the time. i was okay with being different when i was at TAS because everyone was who they wanted to be and it was normal to be different. that changed when i moved back and i'm way beyond disappointed. i know it was my choice to care, but i wish i hadn't made that choice.
on the other hand, there is a small part of me that thinks me-before might be proud of me-now. i have a goal, time and resources to work towards that goal and people who support me. and that, i didn't have when i was 10. because i didn't have a legitimate end point, or time for it was enough for me to try to live my life.
i don't know how far i've come in the past couple of years but as i look back, there are a few things off the top of my head that i know i couldn't have done without my family and friends and teammates and coaches & teachers.
and im thankful for everyone that has played a role in my life, small or big.
to sum it up, if me-before met me-now, she'd be proud of who i am now, but not the process of how i got here. i don't know if that's a good thing or not, but at least, it's better than knowing me-before won't be proud at all.
glad you took the time to consider this.
ReplyDeletei'm pretty sure your 10 year old self would be proud of who you are right now.
you are perfect in every way and there is nothing that needs to be changed :)
can't wait to see you later!