the little things and the big things.

the past month, with the class theatre production and school festival preparation, was chaotic. on top of that, i had to work on my college apps and study for the SATs, not to mention the research and powerpoint for the human rights week project.
there were days i just wanted to quit all the things i was doing, especially the play. i took up jobs that people were unwilling to do, even though it wasn't what i was originally assigned to do. and i know some people didn't like me in charge and i heard from others what they thought of me and it was tough. i felt like i didn't belong there, but since i took the job, i couldn't simply quit, just because i felt uncomfortable. that would've been way too selfish.
i struggled, i cried, i pondered, i lost sleep over thinking about it and doing what i had to do.

then came the day for the actual performance. i was up in the SE control room, and i was nervous. i was nervous about how i would do, because if the sound effects screw up, the actors and actresses might be affected as well. i was nervous about how everyone would do, how the set change is gonna go, whether everyone managed to remember their lines and the little things they had to remember.

but all that worry went away as soon as the performance started. everyone seemed to be having fun on stage and the sound/lighting went well, according to the audience. the only two things i regret are the song for the dance was a bit messy at the beginning, and the last song couldn't be heard on stage. but more than that, i was overwhelmed by the very fact that we'd done it. we'd managed to present the play at its finest, in front of a huge audience.

then came yesterday, the result day. as each class had their actors/actresses/directors called for costumes, sub-cast, and main cast award, again, i became more and more nervous. our class hasn't been called to anything and the last two awards left were the best main actress award and the most outstanding performance award.

tears of joy came as soon as our lead actress was called on stage for the main actress award. then silence. we were all waiting for the most outstanding performance award.
again, i began crying as our class was addressed, by the principal, as the best performance.
i couldn't stop crying for hours after that. all the hard work, all the annoyance and irritation paid off and i had actually managed to do something right for once.

i know we wouldn't have been able to do it without each and every one of us working together. i won't deny that many of us became frustrated and arguments sparked up amongst ourselves but i truly believe that we wouldn't have gotten the award without those disputes. it didn't feel good to have people behind my back an it certainly felt wrong complaining about the preparation process but in the end, the result was more than what we had hoped for.

i want to apologise and thank everyone who was involved with this production, the entire 3E class, and to the leaders who took the initiative to make the play happen. apologies for all the days i went too far, and words of appreciation for all the days spent on the production, because this is definitely one of the best moment of my high school years, and it is truly unforgettable. thank you all for the wonderful experience :)