vulnerability

i feel like i saw a side of you i wasn't supposed to see. like your vulnerable side that you've tried so hard to keep from everyone.

i know it was unintentional. you were weakened by the blow, and i just happened to be the one to offer my hand. you had to hold onto my hand, figuratively, to not hit rock bottom.

and you knew, that once you let me see how vulnerable you were on the inside, you knew things were going to change between us. you knew what effect it has when someone is there for you when you need them. it not only heightens your emotions towards me, but also it makes me look more radiant than usual. you find yourself attracted to my brightness, which, at the time, was the complete opposite of your own feelings. you knew that whatever feelings of affection we had towards each other before has now magnified because once you showed how susceptible you were to pain, i instantly and temporarily became your sun, and my maternal instincts kicked in. you knew all this, and yet you choose to expose yourself.

now we are stuck trying to figure out whether what we had was a caught-in-the-moment thing or a real thing. there's no denying that something sparked between us. we pass each other in the corridors, and when we talk, i know you're letting your guard down. there's no more reason to put up your strong facade when you are with me, and you know you've got me to fall back on.

which makes you a bit more brave than usual. that's why you stopped lying to yourself. you became honest with the one person that mattered to you quite a lot, only to be broken into little pieces again.
but as you said before gathering enough courage, and as i have just written, you had me to fall back on. i was ready to talk to you about what happened, and that's exactly what we did.

and to be completely honest, seeing this new side of you made me realise how much i liked you to begin with. and hearing you speak, to hear the way you think, it has only made me admire and respect you even more. and i candidly expressed my admiration, respect and affection towards you, but you took it as words of encouragement. which is fine with me, since i'm not expecting anything to happen between us.


let me clarify some things.
our talks were highly exclusive and i would never reveal the contents of our endless conversations, no matter how hard my best friends press me to speak about them.

here are some cliches that actually is applicable to the situation we have: you always have me to fall back on, wherever we are, whatever time it is. and i know i can count on you to be there for me.
as far as our feelings go, let's not get carried away by what we felt whilst you were at your most vulnerable state. it's not fair to base your feelings on what you felt when you were fragile.