thinking.

im not entirely sure where we're going with this. the topic has been brought up, or we've both hinted it more than once, and each time, it feels like we're waiting for the other to make a move. but because we expect the other to take initiative, nothing happens, and that might actually be for the best. 

no matter how confident we are that we'll somehow make it work, there's always that small chance things could go wrong. we've both lost important people in our lives and are unwilling to go through it all again, especially without each other. in short, we're too good of a friend to lose in a relationship. 

i know that if we do eventually decide to give it a go, it's just going to be pretty much the same as what it is now. and that realisation is another thing that stops us from taking a step forward; if things arenmt going to change dramatically, then why should we risk everything we have on each other? 

it's a tough decision, and taking in account for the fact that i'll be leaving in less than 2 months, it just doesn't seem worth the risk. 

and that pretty much sums up what i was thinking yesterday. i've never actually given it much thought but somehow you got in my head yesterday, pestering me with your humorous and yet somewhat negative comments. 

and there was a moment when something sparked between us, but we were so quick to ignore it, pretending like it didn't happen. and thats when i knew you felt the same way. we're too important to each other to lose in a relationship that doesn't necessarily need to happen.