i have my sorta unofficial first day of school. and yes, i do admit that the new students seem pretty cool, all of them having the same thoughs on japan as me.
and i know they'll never replace my friends back in taiwan, but i have learned to deal with it and i am, honestly, gonna try to make friends. and i will try to enjoy it as much as i can.
but i am missing taiwan a lot, it drives me crazy.
taiwan. swimming. rugby. rooftop. family. friends. guitar. music. rain.
Toy Story & Little Green Men. Disney. Spiderman. MARVEL comics. Spongebob. Blue's Clues. Barney. Teletubbies.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
my wallll :)
I am officially done organizing my room and whatnot. and of course, my wall is covered with photos :
I do love my room, it’s pretty much the only place where my mum didn’t have a say in what should go where and what it should look like.
on a separate note, here’s a passage out of the book I read a while back:
“I learned that people can never cry for others. we cry for ourselves.
example: someone in your family dies. an accident, disease, murder, suicide, whatever. obviously, you cry. but the tears coming out of your eyes aren’t for the dead person, it’s for you. you’re crying because YOU won’t get to spend any more time with the dead.”
weird quote, huh? but if you really think about it, its sorta kinda true.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
crazy famjam
I have crazy relatives.
we used to live in different parts of japan, and then I moved to Taiwan and they came to visit me once, but I hadn’t seen them since I was 11. then my lovely grandma planned a welcome back party for me a while ago, and she invited them as well. theres a 16 year old, 15, 14, 9, 8 and 4 year olds as well. anyways, so we kinda spent an entire day hanging out at home, playing games and cooking and whatnot.
apparently, our shared blood calls for each other or something. we got along really well, and since then, the three older ones have been taking me out every night. we’ve been to a number of places, going out at 11pm & coming home at 10am. we’re now, officially, nocturnal. but its all good, no coming home with broken bones or bloody noses yet. although one did come close to it two nights ago.
lets hope we’ll make it through the rest of the summer vacation without getting hurt :)
Polaroid
i have moving. but I love it at the same time cause I find things that I didn’t know I owned, like this old Polaroid.
it’s the oldest Polaroid ever, but its still a Polaroid cam. and its huge. and heavy. so I don’t know how often im gonna use it, but I do think it’s a good if I want a photo printed out the moment I take it. and I could also use it for my scrapbook.
:)
Reunion
lets go back to the beginning of August….
we had this reunion in Wakayama, for 5 days. beautiful beach, pretty fireworks, nice weather, huge house and delicious food. loooooved all of it.
Monday, August 16, 2010
i got this feeling
i got this feeling i havent in a long time
its the, “are you looking at me when im unaware your looking at me”
cause you shouldnt be secretly looking at me because i will know that you are
its that feeling, when someones watching you, and then you turn around
and that person smiles at you and it gives you warmth
and it kinda draws yourself together
but its wrong, and it means nothing.
its the, “are you looking at me when im unaware your looking at me”
cause you shouldnt be secretly looking at me because i will know that you are
its that feeling, when someones watching you, and then you turn around
and that person smiles at you and it gives you warmth
and it kinda draws yourself together
but its wrong, and it means nothing.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
30 day post, all in one.
which makes this 30-day thing pointless, but I was busy with moving and stuff, I don’t have enough time to post each one as a separate post. anyways, here it goes!
Day 1 — Your Best Friend
tovebjork! my favourite blonde ever, i admire her determination and her sense of humour.
derrickmoore! he’s simply the best along with peyton. i love his hair. and his laugh. and his uniqueness.
peytonharris! the other best person. love his advices. and our occasional serious talks. and I think its really cool how he is fair to basically everyone. except for S, whom we both didn’t like so much.
kevinbuii! favourite psychologist. soccer obsessed freak. weird sense of humour. loud. haha
berlincheng! beriannako band was the best. MOS burger. waterpark. citi meets. good luck next year!
briantong! my favourite Singaporean! cheese game & overall iasas, mantas, ATB, citi & may 7th + our inboxes. you make me smile.
Day 2 — Your Crush
there currently is none.
but if I ever find one, I hope im strong enough to tell him, and not let it slip away.
Day 3 — Your parents
are alive and well.
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
cousins are the best. our encounters with random things, laughing till we cant breathe anymore, cleaning out my room. love it.
Day 5 — Your dreams
my dream is now decided. I want to do something to do with language, something that I can use my English, Japanese & Chinese for. and I do want to go to college with the TASers. not a year late.
Day 6 — A stranger
strangers don’t really scare me anymore. besides, everyone here is a stranger to me now, and I gotta make friends with the strangers. that’s a weird thought. but still.
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
my ex-boyfriend is my best friend. he’s helped me get through the toughest times of my life, just being there. and making me laugh all the time. and cheering me up. I do wish I hadn’t given up easily, just to see what we could’ve been, but maybe giving up was good because that’s why we are what we are now.
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
is briantong. or dianaredza. god, brian makes me smile inside so much, when I read what he writes. or Diana, who makes me crack up.
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
my great-grandma. I was 2 when she passed away, so it goes without saying that I don’t remember her much. but everyone says im exactly like her, my words & actions & looks altogether, so I’d like to meet her. and plan evil things against my dad & grandma :P
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
peytonharris! I guess we didn’t really talk much in our freshmen year, cause we didn’t have any classes together, and that person we always used to talk about is now gone. which im happy about. but I wish I’d talked to you more before I left. our talk after XC was great, you and your helium inhaled voice. and you calling S. and our evil plans against her. and that one inbox you sent me about mitch. but that was basically it. so yes, I would’ve liked to talk to you more.
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
my great- grandma. see Day 9.
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
those two people aren’t the same person. but the person I dislike (hate is a strong word) is waaaay too controlling. and too obsessed. and too annoying. and too much of a fake.
the person that caused me a lot of pain probably doesn’t know that he caused me so much pain, and probably doesn’t care about me at all, and never has. and I learned to accept that, so theres not much to say to him now.
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
I’ve done things that are unexcuseable, unforgiveable, but if you could, I’d like you to forgive me. not forget, just forgive. I honestly am sorry for the pain I caused you and all the mess I put you through.
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
it all started on march 24th 2008. since that day, we’ve slowly drifted apart, no matter how much we both tried. we were meant to be “drifted away” from each other, and that explains why whenever I try to be closer to you, you are doing the opposite, and vice versa.
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
basically everyone in Taiwan, but I guess I miss derrick the most because he doesn’t live in Taiwan, which makes it harder for me to visit him.
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
everyone in Taiwan. and derrick.
I miss them so much.
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
yuka shizuru!
I used to call her octopus. and she used to call herself squid. we were a couple of odd children.
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
I recently realized that im happy with who I am, so I don’t really want to be anyone else, given the choice.
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
im constantly thinking about this one person that makes me smile even during the darkest part of my life. we’ve been through a lot this past year, I didn’t realize I liked us being friends this much. I used to think he was kinda clumsy, but hes actually pretty skilled. and a procrastinator. haha oh how I miss everything.
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
he still constantly bugs me. so much. he’d type me msgs on gchat saying “go to hell bitch” or “im glad we’re not together anymore” and things like that. i mostly just ignore it. but honestly, I do think im the bigger person here even though he hurt me more. kinda ironic.
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
would probably be derrick. haha I used to think he was just some skinny, weak kid who had scars all over his legs + arms from skateboarding. and of course, I learned that I was highly mistaken. he is so much more than just a skinny person. well, yeah, hes still skinny as ever, due to his vegetarianism. which, by the way, is contagious. anywho, I learned that he was independent but dependent at the same time, funny but serious, and unique and special.
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
er that would be us. I want to give us a second chance, but we’re not gonna do that, because if we do, we might not be what we are right now anymore.
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
derrick moore is the last person I kissed and I have no regrets about that what-so-ever. he’s the best boyfriend anyone could ever ask for, and the best friend anyone could ever have. end of discussion.
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
November 18th – December 10th 2009. that’s all im saying.
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
taylor. I know you’re having trouble finding who you are, who you can trust and not, and what you want to do and why you’re here, but don’t give up. you will find the answers to all the questions that you have, and you will find a reason to be where you are right now.
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
taylor. See above.
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Kayla! Even though we were only together for one day, our swim fest was a blast! And our random inboxes about the randomest things ever. I miss you babe!
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
You taught me how to stand up to others. You are the reason why im who I am right now. So thank you.
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
See above.
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror
Gets uglier and uglier each time I look in the mirror. That’s all.
Day 1 — Your Best Friend
tovebjork! my favourite blonde ever, i admire her determination and her sense of humour.
derrickmoore! he’s simply the best along with peyton. i love his hair. and his laugh. and his uniqueness.
peytonharris! the other best person. love his advices. and our occasional serious talks. and I think its really cool how he is fair to basically everyone. except for S, whom we both didn’t like so much.
kevinbuii! favourite psychologist. soccer obsessed freak. weird sense of humour. loud. haha
berlincheng! beriannako band was the best. MOS burger. waterpark. citi meets. good luck next year!
briantong! my favourite Singaporean! cheese game & overall iasas, mantas, ATB, citi & may 7th + our inboxes. you make me smile.
Day 2 — Your Crush
there currently is none.
but if I ever find one, I hope im strong enough to tell him, and not let it slip away.
Day 3 — Your parents
are alive and well.
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
cousins are the best. our encounters with random things, laughing till we cant breathe anymore, cleaning out my room. love it.
Day 5 — Your dreams
my dream is now decided. I want to do something to do with language, something that I can use my English, Japanese & Chinese for. and I do want to go to college with the TASers. not a year late.
Day 6 — A stranger
strangers don’t really scare me anymore. besides, everyone here is a stranger to me now, and I gotta make friends with the strangers. that’s a weird thought. but still.
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
my ex-boyfriend is my best friend. he’s helped me get through the toughest times of my life, just being there. and making me laugh all the time. and cheering me up. I do wish I hadn’t given up easily, just to see what we could’ve been, but maybe giving up was good because that’s why we are what we are now.
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
is briantong. or dianaredza. god, brian makes me smile inside so much, when I read what he writes. or Diana, who makes me crack up.
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
my great-grandma. I was 2 when she passed away, so it goes without saying that I don’t remember her much. but everyone says im exactly like her, my words & actions & looks altogether, so I’d like to meet her. and plan evil things against my dad & grandma :P
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
peytonharris! I guess we didn’t really talk much in our freshmen year, cause we didn’t have any classes together, and that person we always used to talk about is now gone. which im happy about. but I wish I’d talked to you more before I left. our talk after XC was great, you and your helium inhaled voice. and you calling S. and our evil plans against her. and that one inbox you sent me about mitch. but that was basically it. so yes, I would’ve liked to talk to you more.
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
my great- grandma. see Day 9.
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
those two people aren’t the same person. but the person I dislike (hate is a strong word) is waaaay too controlling. and too obsessed. and too annoying. and too much of a fake.
the person that caused me a lot of pain probably doesn’t know that he caused me so much pain, and probably doesn’t care about me at all, and never has. and I learned to accept that, so theres not much to say to him now.
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
I’ve done things that are unexcuseable, unforgiveable, but if you could, I’d like you to forgive me. not forget, just forgive. I honestly am sorry for the pain I caused you and all the mess I put you through.
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
it all started on march 24th 2008. since that day, we’ve slowly drifted apart, no matter how much we both tried. we were meant to be “drifted away” from each other, and that explains why whenever I try to be closer to you, you are doing the opposite, and vice versa.
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
basically everyone in Taiwan, but I guess I miss derrick the most because he doesn’t live in Taiwan, which makes it harder for me to visit him.
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
everyone in Taiwan. and derrick.
I miss them so much.
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
yuka shizuru!
I used to call her octopus. and she used to call herself squid. we were a couple of odd children.
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
I recently realized that im happy with who I am, so I don’t really want to be anyone else, given the choice.
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
im constantly thinking about this one person that makes me smile even during the darkest part of my life. we’ve been through a lot this past year, I didn’t realize I liked us being friends this much. I used to think he was kinda clumsy, but hes actually pretty skilled. and a procrastinator. haha oh how I miss everything.
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
he still constantly bugs me. so much. he’d type me msgs on gchat saying “go to hell bitch” or “im glad we’re not together anymore” and things like that. i mostly just ignore it. but honestly, I do think im the bigger person here even though he hurt me more. kinda ironic.
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
would probably be derrick. haha I used to think he was just some skinny, weak kid who had scars all over his legs + arms from skateboarding. and of course, I learned that I was highly mistaken. he is so much more than just a skinny person. well, yeah, hes still skinny as ever, due to his vegetarianism. which, by the way, is contagious. anywho, I learned that he was independent but dependent at the same time, funny but serious, and unique and special.
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
er that would be us. I want to give us a second chance, but we’re not gonna do that, because if we do, we might not be what we are right now anymore.
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
derrick moore is the last person I kissed and I have no regrets about that what-so-ever. he’s the best boyfriend anyone could ever ask for, and the best friend anyone could ever have. end of discussion.
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
November 18th – December 10th 2009. that’s all im saying.
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
taylor. I know you’re having trouble finding who you are, who you can trust and not, and what you want to do and why you’re here, but don’t give up. you will find the answers to all the questions that you have, and you will find a reason to be where you are right now.
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
taylor. See above.
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Kayla! Even though we were only together for one day, our swim fest was a blast! And our random inboxes about the randomest things ever. I miss you babe!
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
You taught me how to stand up to others. You are the reason why im who I am right now. So thank you.
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
See above.
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror
Gets uglier and uglier each time I look in the mirror. That’s all.
Monday, August 09, 2010
i need to...
stop pretending like i can go back to taiwan soon, because i cant. TAS starts in three days, and im not gonna be a part of that tas crowd anymore. i need to get over it, start a new life here.
*who am i kidding*
we had this little reunion last week, in Wakayama. it was nice to see the little ones that i havent seen in a while, but they reminded me of what my friends and i used to be like, and that made me sad.
this post really has no point.
and my room is still messy, and i have so many inboxes to reply to, so many questions waiting for me to be answered, and many more posts to be replied to. and i just found my computer 10 minutes ago. i promise, i'll get all of it dne. soon. in the next few weeks, until my school starts, which is august 28th.
*who am i kidding*
we had this little reunion last week, in Wakayama. it was nice to see the little ones that i havent seen in a while, but they reminded me of what my friends and i used to be like, and that made me sad.
this post really has no point.
and my room is still messy, and i have so many inboxes to reply to, so many questions waiting for me to be answered, and many more posts to be replied to. and i just found my computer 10 minutes ago. i promise, i'll get all of it dne. soon. in the next few weeks, until my school starts, which is august 28th.
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