kanoko takahashi <3

she was the first one to talk to me when i started at dihs. she noticed me from the train ride in the morning and she had enough nerves to come talk to me straight after class. she has helped me through a lot of things, especially at first when i didnt know what i was supposed to do. and shes well-connected so i got to know people through her. i didnt think we'd be this good of a friend when i first met her but i guess i was wrong :)
love you!

Joy the Baker.

has helped me a lot in making cakes and cookies :) her website is just plain amazing <3

numbing the pain.

numbing the pin for a while will only make it worse when you finally feel it. -Albus Dumbledore.

i don't go looking for trouble. trouble usually finds me. - Harry Potter

Of course this is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real? - Albus Dumbledore

It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our freinds. - Albus Dumbledore

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light. - Albus Dumbldore

same but different.

im not there anymore.
not there in person nor in spirit.

disappearing.
slowly.

everydays the same.
and yet different.

whats same, are the looks.
the glares.
the backstabbing.

whats different, is that
its the different people everyday.

nails 2.

wanna try these too!

nails.

my obsession with nails javent gotten any better yet :P i deff wanna try these in the near future :)

regret.

i though i'd be feeling a bit more regretful for this but i guess i was wrong.
yesterdays post about not going back, yeah, its true. theres nogoing back, no taking back what i had said. and i had meant to say it in a way that it'd be hurtful to you. it was done on purpose, and some say i did it with perfect accuracy.
but i had expected myself to be more resentful about this.
i thoght i was gonna rush back to my computer and undone what i had done.

and yet, what i had done still remains that way. nothing has changed. and i doubt things will go anywhere from here.

you saw the look on my face yesterday when i passed you in the hallway. you saw the expression on my face change. you saw me die a little inside.

one thing you should know though, and it amazes me, that i didn't shed one single tear for you. and i say this with complete honesty. crying and letting it out was, and still is, my way of forgetting. but that didnt happen with you. because i had managed, somehow, to erase you from my head the moment i did what i did.

i dont get that certain feeling anymore, even when you stand next to me. so why do i look away when i see you? its because the way you glare at me sends chills down my spine. i cant look at you in the eyes. your eyes are filled with.... i dont know what. annoyance, maybe? annoyed at my existance or something? i have no idea.

and if it makes you feel any better, you did leave a mark in my life. i cant touch thrguitar anymore. i just cant play it. and i cant stand to hear that song either. its the only proof i have that states you were a part of my life, however small that part used to be.

i respect you. what you do for the ones you love, its amazing. i'll give you that much.

suffocation.

i feel like im suffocating.
it feels like the air around me gets thin whenever you're around.
your gaze pierces straight through me.
and i lose my ability to remain rational.

i start acting on my instincts, and i forget about the ones around me.

then i realize what i'd done,
i come to regret it,
but theres no going back.

and i still feel like im suffocating.

Judgement Day

doomsday. the Rapture. judgement day.

the world ends tmrw at 6PM. wherever you are, when the clock hits 6 PM your time, the area you're in will suffer from a huge earthquake. and then some people, mainly the ones who believe in Jesus, will be saved.
and the rest of us will all be left down here on earth.
and hell on earth begins.

now, i dont think this is really gonna happen. the calculation Camping did to come up with the date sounds reasonable. but the origin of the numbers used in the maths, is questionable.

and of course, im wondering why there hasnt been any news stations reporting this prediction and whatnot.

tmrw at 6PM. i'll probably be on my way home from my job at the senri intl school. or maybe i'd already be home by then. i dont know.

but lets say, the big what-if, that things do become a complete chaos tmrw.
there are so many things i havent done that i wanted to do. and so many things i need to say to a lot of people.

but lets just hope the world doesnt end tmrw.

offshot

converse heels-pink
hollister jeans
hollister tanktop-white
hollister t-shirt-white&pink
hollister button-up shirt- blue stripe
american eagle outfitters sunglasses
GAP bag-red, orange & white

:) definitely faveee <3

frog.

our biology teacher brought it in :))

birthday !!

happy birthday mum :)

toystory.

ANDY is engraved on the sole of Buzz's shoes :)

harrypotter love.

"Wake up in the morning feelin' like harry potter, grab my wand i'm out the door, i'm gonna kill voldemort. Before i leave grab my glasses and say bye to hagrid, 'cause when i apparate out the room i ain't comin' back. I'm talkin' droppin' out of hogwarts (warts), lookin' for horcruxes (es), goin' to godric's hollow (low). Drop toppin', bill and fleur getting married, death eaters lookin' for me, neville's gonna behead nagini. Don't stop, make it pop, wait for voldie to show up. Tonight i'mma fight 'til he loses to the light. Don't stop, make it pop, elder wand will not stop me, oh whoa oh oh! Oh whoa oh oh!"

我慢

我慢する。
相手のコトを優先する。
相手が幸せだったらそれでいい。

それ以外何もいらないはずだった。

ここ半年。

誰かを好きになって
一方的に恋愛をして
でもある日それはありえへんって気付いたから
その人のコトを諦めて
諦めるのはめっちゃキツかったけど、
それは私たち2人にとっていいコトだって自分に言い聞かせて
でもそれでも辛いのは変わらなくて
ふとした所でその封印してた気持ちが表に出て来て
もうこんな辛いのはイヤやからって自分の気持ちに正直になるって決めて…

でもそこからどうするかはいまだに決まってない。
素直に気持ちぶつけたら困らせちゃうかな。