tonight.

just for tonight, can I go back to being myself?
just for now, will you let me hold on to you to hide my tears?
just for this moment, can I be a little selfish and have it my way?

just for tonight.
that's all I'm asking.

The only thing I want to do is just break down and cry.. let it all out and then sleep on it. I hate bottling up things but I hate crying in front of people. Crying makes me feel better, I hate it when people tell me to stop crying. I don’t care if you think I’m weak for crying, that’s my cry for help. It’s what helps me calm down and forget the pain inside.

i understood what you were trying to say. 


i understand it, but im not letting it go.


i dont care if your friends don't like me.


i dont care if your parents or your siblings don't like me.


i like you, you like me.


thats all that matters. 


just thought you should know.

oh please.

When the circus comes to town, everybody acts like a clown.

Main theme for JFK 2011. 

I'm relieved that we got through the 4 weeks of JFK without much trouble, or any serious injuries apart from michelle but she was alright after that so yeah.

i think JFK was kinda different from saturday school in the way that we were more closer to the kids cause we saw them everyday, and it was more like "have fun in the pool" rather than "teach them how to swim" like it is in sat school. 

and i think working in JFK taught me things that i wouldn't have learnt in sat school so im glad i got to experience different things. 

im definitely looking forward to working for saturday school starting september, with yui, harsha, seamus and sally :) 

education at its best.

i wish i had never known that i had different options. knowing there are different ways i could've gone is painful, but knowing, at the same time, that there is no going back or changing my way now is more painful. if i hadn't known that one option that i came across in April, i think i would be enjoying my life a little bit more than i am now.
at the same time, i wish i had taken the time to do some research on my own a year and a half ago, rather than to let my parents decide for me. i knew it was coming, so i should've snapped out of denial and should've gone my way.

certainty

how do we know that night follows day and day follows night, that the cycle won't suddenly stop tomorrow?

what makes us so sure of the things we know? why don't we doubt the obvious?
why aren't we being skeptical for whatever that comes in our way?

decision.

all i need to do is to decide.
and im strong enough to do that.
don't fucking underestimate me.
don't be fucking surprised, when you see me in a month and i'm not who you think i am.
don't fucking assume.
you don't know me.

what i want isn't always what i thought i would want.
what you want me to do isn't always what i want to do.

you don't get to decide how i live my life.
i understand that because i'm not of age yet, there are some things that i can't decide for myself.
but other than that, i wanna make choices in my life.

i don't wanna be controlled by you.
whenever i see you, you glare at me.
you look at me like you can see right through me.
you're becoming a burden on me.

quidditch.

あなたは私にとって災い以外の何者でもない。