100 questions, answered truthfully.

Have you ever:
: 1) Self harmed? 

nope. 

: 2) Got into a real fight?

yes.

: 3) Been too depressed to move out of your bed?

yes.

: 4) Tried to commit suicide?
nope. 

: 5) Had to lie to EVERYONE about how you felt?
not everyone. 

: 6) Watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting?

yes. gossip girl season 1 with tove and steph :)

: 7) Talked yourself out of serious trouble?

yes.

: 8) Accused someone of using you?
yes. 

: 9) Shoplifted?

nope.

: 10) Gotten drunk/high?

yes.

: 11) Been to a concert where your favourite artist was playing?

yes.

: 12) Skipped doing homework to play a video game?

nope.

(Right now) Are you:
: 13) Suicidal?

nope.

: 14) Bored?

with the tokyo sevens? definitely not.

: 15) Avoiding someone?

yes.

: 16) Avoiding some task?

nope.

: 17) Depressed?

nope.

: 18) Crying?

nope.

: 19) Annoyed with a friend?

if you could call him a friend, yes.

: 20) Worried and confused about something important to you?
most definitely yes.

Do you:
: 21) Get depressed easily?

nope.
: 22) Get jealous/envious easily?
not really.

: 23) Feel listening to music can take your mind off things?
yes. 

: 24) Worry about messing about your relationships a lot?
all the time. 

: 25) Try hard in all your classes at school?
no. i gave up on physics & chemistry & biology. 

: 26) Go out drinking?
yes. 

: 27) Smoke cigarettes?
no.

: 28) Smoke weed?
no.

: 29) Do any hard drugs?

no. 

: 30) If you said yes to 28 but no to 29, Why?

: 31) Believe in God/Belong to a religion of your own free will?

not really.

: 32) Avoid people you care about because you feel you will only hurt them?
yes. or i used to. 

: 33) Agree that self harm numbs emotional pain?
no. 

: 34) Believe people deserve second chances?
depends on how they ruined the first chance. 

: 35) Agree with ‘An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth’? (ignoring the religious relation to that saying)

no. 

: 36) Think things will get better?

yes. 

: 37) Feel afraid that you have done wrong and will eventually be punished?

yes. 

: 38) (be honest) Do you judge people who think differently to you? (seriously, be honest)

i used to heavily judge people who didnt agree with the way i thought. but now i realize that sometimes they might have a better idea/thoughts about something than i do, and now i respect how others think. and i also kind of realized that it's me that thinks different from the majority, and i don't like to be judged so i decided or i try not to judge others. 

Preference in boyfriend/girlfriend:
: 39) Long hair OR short hair?

doesnt matter.

: 40) (For Girls one) nice smile OR nice abs?

sorry, abs. 

: 41) (For Guys one) nice smile OR nice chest?

: 42) Shy OR open?

shy at first, then open?

: 43) Eyes OR body?

body. 

: 44) Religious OR non-religious?

dont care.

: 45) Caring OR non-restricting of you?

as long as hes not clingy, anythings fine.

: 46) Straight edge OR non-straight edge?

non- straight edge.

: 47) Piercings OR no piercings?

dont care.

: 48) Tattoos OR no tattoos?

dont care.

: 49) Quiet stay-at-home type OR party type?

both. 

: 50) Has friends you get along with OR has parents you get along with?

both. 

Would you:
: 51) Drink alcohol until you were drunk?

sure.

: 52) Smoke weed?
probs not. 

: 53) Smoke cigarettes?

probs not.

: 54) Get even with someone who betrayed you?

that just brings me as low as that person who betrayed me in the first place, so no.

: 55) Forgive a boyfriend/girlfriend who deeply hurt you?

always forgive, never forget.

: 56) Attempt to kill yourself if everything fails you?
no. 

: 57) Keep your faith (any religious view) no matter what?
sure.

: 58) Join a band as a part time activity?
if they're okay with the fact i cant sing to save my life, then sure.

: 59) Feel sorry for someone who is being affected negatively from alcohol/drug abuse?

kind of.

: 60) Stand up for your beliefs if someone strongly goes against them?
sure.

: 61) Go vegetarian for a month to see what is was like?
no, bc then i'd end up like derrick and be all skinny. lol

: 62) Fight someone who was harassing your friends/family?
sure.

: 63) Edit photos of yourself before posting them online?
not really. 

: 64) Put up with friends who constantly hated against something you believed in/supported?

sure. we all have our own opinions. 

: 65) Be friends with someone who was nice to you, but a cunt to other people?

sure. 

: 66) Not like someone simply because your friend(s) didn’t like them?

not really.

: 67) Lie to someone close to you because you don’t want them to put up with your problems?

well, that kind of ruins the point of having close friends... 

: 68) Starve yourself so you fit some certain clothes?

yessssssssss.

: 69) Get surgery on any part of you? If yes then which part of you?

like plastic surgery? then no. but medical surgery, then on my knees please. 

: 70) Sleep naked?

sure.

You can only choose one:
: 71) Black or Orange?

black. 

: 72) Metalcore OR Post-Hardcore?

neither

: 73) Cellphone or Computer?

cellphone.

: 74) Chocolate milk OR Coke?

chocolate milk!

: 75) Tumblr OR Friends?

friends.

: 76) Apple OR PC?

PC

: 77) TV Shows OR Movies?

movies.

: 78) Old bands OR new Bands?

old.

: 79) Pop-Punk OR Alternative Rock?

alternative. 

: 80) Reading OR Listening to music?

reading.

: 81) Coke OR Pepsi? Define your reason for your choice.

pepsi. because coke is too sweet. 

: 82) Staying who you are OR changing yourself drastically?

staying who i am.

: 83) Breakdown OR Clean vocal bridge?

clean.

: 84) Jonny Craig OR Kellin Quinn? Define your reason for your choice.

jonny craig. just because.

: 85) Ronnie OR Craig? Define your reason for your choice.

roonie. just because. 

: 86) Your life as a comedy OR Your life as a documentary?

comedy.

: 87) Go to outer space OR Go all around Europe?

europe! 

: 88) Shoes OR Shirts?

shirts. 

: 89) Chelsea Grin OR Suicide Silence?

chelsea grin.

: 90) Drop out of school to get a job OR stay at school and finish your education. Define your reason for your choice.

stay at school. because i think education is necessary.

Almost over:
: 91) So far have you told 90 truths? And for fuck sake be honest.

yes. i have.

: 92) Are you quiet about your social life with your family?

yes.

: 93) Do you want to travel when you are older?

yes.

: 94) Would you let go of people who mean the most to you to follow your dreams?

yes. well, depends on what they way. 

: 95) Did you notice there are no sex related questions?

yes.

: 96) Rather be the opposite gender?

yes. 

: 97) What will you name your son/daughter?

im not sure yet.

: 98) Do you get harassed more than most people do?

i assume so.

: 99) What band do you hate the most? Define your reason.

some korean band, cause they all sound the same. 

: 100) What makes you a bad person in your mind?

when you betray people who are faithful to you. 

little mermaid isn't so little anymore.

little mermaid has always been my favourite movie. her braveness, determination and the ability to think of others before herself is definitely something i respect.
and im jealous of the fact she gets to swim with little fishies and dolphins all the time. eh, thats my initial reason for loving her :p

i cant stand being around you anymore. 
one more year and im out of here. 

comfy :)

spongebob cushion <3

blue.

big shirts. current favourite.

favourite!

http://taiwanesefood.tumblr.com/
good taiwanese food! 

boiled dumplings! 

typical dinner. 

油条s! 

-------> click click click! 
http://taiwanesefood.tumblr.com/ 

a little bit of me.

in all honesty, i cannot wait to get out of this place. there is absolutely nothing i want more right now, than to get out of here.

it's not that i dont like japan as a country. i do. good food and good stuff and people are generally good. it's just the japanese community and their #1 rule that i simply cannot stand: conformity.

whenever im at school, i feel like im suffocating. like the room im in is too crowded, or like people are literally inside my head telling me to be just like them and i cant breathe because i dont want to be like them because that's not who i am and i believe that the moment i lose myself in the community is the moment i break apart and not be myself anymore.

i dont want to admit that im not as strong as i act at school. because when i admit that, it felt like i was saying i was acting around my friends. but the truth is, i needed that bit of acting. i needed to pretend like i was strong so i would actually feel strong. i'm so fucking weak, it surprised me. it's like im constantly full of fresh wounds that are unwilling to heal, and all i can do to survive through them is to keep telling myself im not going to fall apart.

but lately, it's been way too hard for me. i pretend not to hear people talking behind my back or see when people point me out because im not dressed like them, but really, i know them all. i try not to let them get to me, but i have my days and when im feeling like shit as is, i sometimes cant bear it.

you know my name, not my story.

what we are.

who we want to be is never who we really are. who we never want to be is closer to who we actually are.

what we want to believe in, we often times know that's something that shouldn't be believed in.

whoever realizes these first, despite all thats trying to fool us, wins.

artists without a voice.

hair up, dress on, perfume & glitter on.
music @ max volume, microphones turned on.
food and drinks on the table.
lights out, stage lights shining.

what more can i ask for?
:)

kony 2012. he probably has more thoughts than any of us put together.

make a difference.

visiblechildren:

You do not need to ask my permission to share this. Please link it widely.
I do not doubt for a second that those involved in KONY 2012 have great intentions, nor do I doubt for a second that Joseph Kony is a very evil man. But despite this, I’m strongly opposed to the KONY 2012 campaign.
KONY 2012 is the product of a group called Invisible Children, a controversial activist group and not-for-profit. They’ve released 11 films, most with an accompanying bracelet colour (KONY 2012 is fittingly red), all of which focus on Joseph Kony. When we buy merch from them, when we link to their video, when we put up posters linking to their website, we support the organization. I don’t think that’s a good thing, and I’mnotalone.
Invisible Children has been condemned time and time again. As a registered not-for-profit, its finances are public. Last year, the organization spent $8,676,614. Only 31% went to their charity program (page 6)*. This is far from ideal, and Charity Navigator rates their accountability 2/4 stars because they haven’t had their finances externally audited. But it goes way deeper than that.
The group is in favour of direct military intervention, and their money funds the Ugandan government’s army and various other military forces. Here’s a photo of the founders of Invisible Children posing with weapons and personnel of the Sudan People’s Liberation Army. Both the Ugandan army and Sudan People’s Liberation Army are riddled with accusations of rape and looting, but Invisible Children defends them, arguing that the Ugandan army is “better equipped than that of any of the other affected countries”, although Kony is no longer active in Uganda and hasn’t been since 2006 by their own admission.
Still, the bulk of Invisible Children’s spending isn’t on funding African militias, but on awareness and filmmaking. Which can be great, except that Foreign Affairs has claimed that Invisible Children (among others) “manipulates facts for strategic purposes, exaggerating the scale of LRA abductions and murders and emphasizing the LRA’s use of innocent children as soldiers, and portraying Kony — a brutal man, to be sure — as uniquely awful, a Kurtz-like embodiment of evil.” He’s certainly evil, but exaggeration and manipulation to capture the public eye is unproductive, unprofessional and dishonest.
As Christ Blattman, a political scientist at Yale, writes on the topic of IC’s programming, “There’s also something inherently misleading, naive, maybe even dangerous, about the idea of rescuing children or saving of Africa. […] It hints uncomfortably of the White Man’s Burden. Worse, sometimes it does more than hint. The savior attitude is pervasive in advocacy, and it inevitably shapes programming. Usually misconceived programming.”
Still, Kony’s a bad guy, and he’s been around a while. Which is why the US has been involved in stopping him for years. U.S. Africa Command (AFRICOM) has sent multiple missions to capture or kill Kony over the years. And they’ve failed time and time again, each provoking a ferocious response and increased retaliative slaughter. The issue with taking out a man who uses a child army is that his bodyguards are children. Any effort to capture or kill him will almost certainly result in many children’s deaths, an impact that needs to be minimized as much as possible. Each attempt brings more retaliation. And yet Invisible Children funds this military intervention. Kony has been involved in peace talks in the past, which have fallen through. But Invisible Children is now focusing on military intervention.
Military intervention may or may not be the right idea, but people supporting KONY 2012 probably don’t realize they’re helping fund the Ugandan military who are themselves raping and looting away. If people know this and still support Invisible Children because they feel it’s the best solution based on their knowledge and research, I have no issue with that. But I don’t think most people are in that position, and that’s a problem.
Is awareness good? Yes. But these problems are highly complex, not one-dimensional and, frankly, aren’t of the nature that can be solved by postering, film-making and changing your Facebook profile picture, as hard as that is to swallow. Giving your money and public support to Invisible Children so they can spend it on funding ill-advised violent intervention and movie #12 isn’t helping. Do I have a better answer? No, I don’t, but that doesn’t mean that you should support KONY 2012 just because it’s something. Something isn’t always better than nothing. Sometimes it’s worse.
If you want to write to your Member of Parliament or your Senator or the President or the Prime Minister, by all means, go ahead. If you want to post about Joseph Kony’s crimes on Facebook, go ahead. But let’s keep it about Joseph Kony, not KONY 2012.
~ Grant Oyston, visiblechildren@grantoyston.com
Grant Oyston is a sociology and political science student at Acadia University in Nova Scotia, Canada. You can help spread the word about this by linking to his blog at visiblechildren.tumblr.com anywhere you see posts about KONY 2012.
*For context, 31% is bad. By contrast, Direct Relief reports 98.8% of its funding goes to programming. American Red Cross reports 92.1% to programming. UNICEF USA is at 90.3%. Invisible Children reports that 80.5% of their funding goes to programming, while I report 31% based on their FY11 fiscal reports, because other NGOs would count film-making as fundraising expenses, not programming expenses.

click click click!

the gif won't show until you click on it :( 

quick shoutout for 2D :)

i would say my junior year has been quite catastrophic, but also enjoyable :)
and im thinking a good reflection needs to be done :D 

so.

2D.

a class full of... people with complete different personalities.

we're unique, and im sure there has never been a class as chaotic as ours! 

im not gonna do a personal reflection as i did last year 

because i think that'll just be way too personal to be posted on a blog.

im definitely looking forward to going to okinawa with the class :)

buttttt tomorrow's pizza party comes first!

the brownies are all cut up and put in two Tupperwares 

though im not sure how im gonna manage taking them to school

along with my suitcase

and its supposed to rain tomorrow morning?

but i'll find a way. somehow.

okay, crappy reflection

but thinking

'nuff said.

spring holiday 2012

hey thereee


im officially done with my junior year! wooooot. 
hello spring holiday.
gonna be busy for a bit.....
saturday: get ready for okinawa!
sunday: get ready for okinawa! and bake brownies and wrap momoko's birthday prezzie! and 7th months <3
monday: end of the year ceremony, pizza party!
tuesday: FREEEEEEEEE
wednesday: baby tsubaki <3
thursday & friday: FREEEEEEEEE - probs organizing my closet
saturday: working! orientation for new staff! sleepover with naho :) 17 again + eclipse
sunday: maybe breaking dawn with naho :)
monday: FREEEEEE
tuesday-friday: OKINAWAAAAA
saturday: workkk! + going to tokyo afterwards!


got the tickets for Japan Rugby Seven's March 31st & April 1st
so excitedddd :)
pretty sure its not gonna be as good as the HK Sevens was, but still.


andddd new blog URL!
www.constantlychlorinated.blogspot.com 
<----- constantly chlorinated. story of my life.
've been away from the pool for way too long.
gotta get back in that lovely smelly waterrrrr.
eternal love.


7 months on sunday! 
'nuff said.


probably doing a reflection of the year tomorrow or sunday
whenever i have time over the weekend or something.
or maybe i'll wait til im back from okinawa
but by then i'll be going to tokyo so maybe not.
okay, reflection this weekend!