lying by omission.

it's kind of hard to spend so much time with one person. and it's not that person's fault, it's mostly me. i can't stand to have a group of friends that im constantly with, like a clique. hell, i wanna hang out with whoever i want.

on a different note, visiting taiwan mid-feb or mid-march if possible! i know it's a year from now, but im really looking forward to it. uh someone take me out at night when i visit, please. nightlife in japan, not so great.

<3

Here's some weird and personal questions, you down? 
suree! 

Can you call your ex without it being awkward? 
honestly, yes. 

Do you still talk to the person you last kissed on the lips? 
of course :)

Will you be in a relationship one month from now? 
i hope so. 

What about 2? 
i hope so.

Have you ever been truly in love? 
i really don't know.

Could you go a day not talking to the last person you kissed? 
no way.

Is your room ever clean? 
sometimes.  

Do you drink bottled water? 
yesssirrr.

Honestly, are things going the way you planned? 
it's getting back on track. 

Do you hate the last person who called you? 
absolutelove. 

What are you listening to at the moment? 

disney soundtracks :)

OPI nail lacquer collection

spring holiday, senior year.

spring holiday is over in two days. i didn't do much that can be considered productive, but i'd say i had a good break.

• Okinawa for a school trip was fun, despite my injuries... i realized how important people were in my lives and of the things i took for granted. 
• last week of saturday school 2011, although i didn't get to teach my class, it was a great experience. i miss my J5 class and the kids though, they were really great even though i was their guide only for three months.
• off to tokyo, did tons of shopping. definitely broke now, what with buying nail polishes and clothes and cushions and all. 
• meeting up with old friends, going over memories, realizing, as per usual, how stupid we were back then. it's actually nice to know that i have friends who i haven't seen in over 5 years and we could just pick up where we left off as soon as we see each other. 
• saturday school 2012 orientation. misspelled words. hearing stories about adult life. learning things from people. advice of the day: go to Poland if we wanted some leaves.

and Kansai University festival tomorrow, helping grandma with blowing up balloons and handing them out. 

going out with my other grandma on Monday, because i haven't seen her in well over 4 months even though she leaves 20 min drive away. must. not. take. things. for. granted. 

finally, first day of senior year on Tuesday. i won't say i'm excited for the change of classes and all, i'm kind of afraid that i might be in the same class as people i prefer not to be around, but maybe there are things i can get out of interacting with them, so i'm planning on not complaining too much. on the other hand, i'm quite excited about going back to school to see my friends :) 

i think senior year is going to be pretty tough for me, with college applications and the SATs and deciding what i want to do with my future and all, and it's gonna be quite stressful, but im hoping i can find some way to relieve that stress. probably saturday school is gonna help because i'll be in the swimming pool all day and that will calm me down and allow me to think clearly, so i'm definitely counting on that. 

just a quick shout out to all the people that have helped me get through my junior year!

thanks everyone, i wouldn't be where i am without you all :) 

looking forward to senior yearrrrrrrr :D

commitment.

i'm afraid of commitment. of promises. and of the pain caused when the promises are broken. the feeling of trust that has taken time to develop shatters in a second when promises are unkept. commitment puts a limit to my freedom. knowing the limitation, i'm scared i won't be able to be myself. i'm not strong, i know i can't deal with the pain, and there's nowhere for me to take my feelings out on. everything becomes so bottled up inside, i loose the ability to act logically. i start speaking in a monotone voice and say things i don't necessarily mean. my words get all jumbled up and i can't think straight. and most of the time, i end my little monologue with the phrase "im afraid of the concept of "change"". but you know what, things change, people change, it's inevitable. and i know it, for i have gone through big changes and jumped between different stages in my life, especially in the past 2 years, but im comfortable with where i am now, i don't want any sudden changes. if i'm going to be betrayed, i want to be notified of it beforehand, so i can get ready to deal with whatever emotion that sparks inside of me when it happens. i'm anticipating betrayal, broken promises, unwinding commitment. there is no such thing as forever. i'm not being cynical, it's a fact. nobody lives forever, therefore; i repeat, there is no such thing as forever. i personally feel that when people say "i will love you forever," either in terms of a friendship, love, or just any relationship in general, they are making a promise that they cannot keep. so how come when someone says that to me, i feel safe and sound, like i've finally found a place i belong?
since 2005, i feel like i've been a different person each year. i spent most of 2005 being confused by the change in the environment i lived in. 2006 was when i first experienced betrayal by people i trusted, and 2007 consisted of broken promises and forgiving unwillingly. 2008 was a year spent dwelling over what couldn't've been changed no matter how hard i tried. 2009 was the year i realized how much i loved the people that has been by my side since the beginning, and the first half of 2010 was spent saying good-byes and the rest through the first half of 2011, i dont even know who i was during that period of time.
for this, although i feel that i grasp the concept of change and no-forever pretty well, i cannot help but be assured by the words directed towards me.
i repeat, commitment is binding and forever is a promise that can never be kept, not because im being ignorant, but because forever doesn't exist. i believe that instead of trying to find forever, it is better to live life to the fullest while it is possible.

again, trust takes time to build up, but only a moment to shatter. don't make promises that you cannot keep. do not, and i mean never, betray the ones that love you unconditionally.

batman.

batman comic print skirt ¥3990
@ eyes

spiderman inspired OPI nail colours!

OPI nail lacquer.

OPI Greenwich Village

OPI Ya-Gotta Get This Blue

OPI Katy Perry Last Friday Night

OPI Pink Shatter - Support Breast Cancer.

i sort of wish i never met you. this infatuation i have towards you is too overwhelming and its breaking me.

childhood favourite tv shows.

teletubbies.

barney.

blue's clues.

extensions :)

RUGBY TOKYO 7s!