bother.

things that bother me atm:

status.
like whatthefuck are they talking about, and why wont they mention any names?

the immatureness of everyone here.
honestly, why are they so immature? and why won't anyone understand what i say? and how theres like discrimination against the transfer students. wtf. its not like we ever did anything wrong, and we seriously are trying to keep like, low- profile here. or like we were trying to but you guys wont let us.


the way people randomly start talking to me and telling me things like how this person is not a manwhore but the other person is and whatnot. god, i cant even remember the names. anywho, i honestly dont care who the manwhore of our grade/class is and i have no intention what-so-ever of going out with anyone, so just let it go.


and i know im repeating myself in a couple of my posts below but these things does honestly bug me.

my knees

you don't understand me at all. you don't even try.

no, im not fucking lying about my fucking knees being fucked up. and i will show you the scar on the back of my head if you want me to. no, im not lying about that either. i don't see how you cant understand what im trying to say. okay, it would cause a lot of trouble if i did run and not care about the knees, and then they get completely busted up and then i'd fall and just lie there on the pavement for like 30min cause theres no way i can walk with knees that aren't in the right place. and then someone'll have to take me to the hospital, or at least back to school and you'd probably need a car or something for that cause i ain't walking, and then you'll be blamed on partially because it is your duty to watch over the others. and then you'd tell the authorities that it was my fault because you told me to be careful, but then i'd have everyone else back me up and tell the truth, which is that you never told me to be careful. actually, it was the opposite. you told me not to slack off, not to walk and to run faster. so if they find out that your words were the reason why my knees broke down, then obviously you'll be in trouble.

and you don't want that. because you have a bad reputation already, what with you having double personalities for school life and for the club. and because you take everything out on people if things don't go the way you want it to.

you better watch out what you say and do.

that's all im saying.

looooves

Yui's Sweet Sixteen   September 28th 

Hikaru, me & Kano    September 27th

me, Hazuki, Sakura & Yui 

you have it all wrong.

when i said i was giving up, i meant i wanted him to be happy. which means that you need to act the way you did before around him. no keeping-distance thing. no feeling bad for me. because i've decided and i will stick to my decisions. 

i might still care about him, yeah, but that doesn't mean you need to put some distance between you and him because he doesn't want that. and you said this yourself, he's the type of person that doesn't have what it takes to ask a girl out. which means you, need to go to him. 

i've been stressed out about this all week. now is the time i stop letting him occupy my mind. because its unhealthyyy :P im okay with us being friends. and i will encourage him. and i will be happy just watching him be happy. im not even kidding.

peeeeeace out loooves <3

no joke.

month.

Fucking stop treating me like a transfer student anymore. its been a fucking month. im honestly not that new anymore.


and i know im not making an effort to fit in, but seriously? i really dont think u all are worth it for me right now. i just dont see us being friends. and i have no intentions whatsoever on fitting in here.


and yes, we the transfer students hang out together because we cant find anyone else to be with. since ye know, all you guys have your groups and aren't accepting us in or even trying to get to know us. and thats not our fault. and maybe, just maybe, its easier for us to communicate in english because we havent been using japanese on a daily basis for the past 5 years. have you ever thought of that? 
i apologize if i made anyone feel bad for something i did, but i honestly didnt mean to cause anything. thought i should let you know all this.

now, go fuck yourself.

official statement.... ah fuck it.

him being happy comes first, me later.

now, i've decided that. and thats not gonna change. however the fact that maybe i am gonna get hurt watching him be happy scares me. i know i said i was gonna stop letting others come before myself but i did fall for him pretty badly, and i want him to be happy.

theres honestly nothing i can do anymore, what with him liking her without her doing anything. like literally, shes done nothing but exist in this world, and that was more than enough reason for him to like her. i can't beat that. i know that much.

so what i've decided was that im gonna be his friend, friend only, and im gonna encourage him. and be there for him all the time. but not let my own feelings be a negative factor for his relationships.

and that might be the cause of more stress for me emotionally, but that doesn't matter. i've done this before, and i can do it again now. and im gonna go to Sweets Paradise + Karaoke + halloween costume shopping w/ Yui, the birthday girl, Sakura, Mizuki & Erina. now THAT should be my all-time stress reliever, therefore; it'll even out. i'll live.

i can do this. just.fucking.watch.me.

awwww i love チェック!

:)

and i don't forget them easily.

一回彼に興味を持たないって決めたのに、今めっちゃ気になってる自分で決めた事もちゃんと守られへんって最悪やし

確かに彼は佳奈の事なんか全然相手にしてないし、別にそれでもいいねんけど、やっぱりなんかもやもやしてる

別にどこかが好きとかじゃなくて、カッコいいし性格も結構いけるから…みたいな感じでちょっと気になってたら、だんだん好きになってったみたいな感じ。

もしかしたらただ単に友達になりたいだけかもしれんけど…idk

i need to organize my thoughts.

i was wrong about him being just hot. hes... well, so much more than that. its fun talking to him about random stuff, like about how our math teacher had changed over summer vacation.

and i dont hate him. i want us to be friends.

he likes her. or so i think. and takuya thinks that way too so maybe its true.

so where does that lead to? i... am not so sure anymore.

change.

i used to say i hated change. but i now know that change can be a good thing sometimes, like now.

i hated the idea of leaving taiwan and i still do. but i realized that there are great things here and amazing people that i can let myself open up to. yes, the bad things are still the same: bitches, ugly guys, annoying homework, weird un-written rules that i cant seem to understand clearly. but i have found good things here.

i am glad that i had the chance to get away from the drama in taiwan. and even though drama still exisits in my world here, i believe im strong enough to deal with it all. i have great friends who will listen to me spazz my brains out. and in return, i listen to them. and our texts go back and forth the entire day. and i love it because it lets mek now more about them and vice versa.

i really do love the 編入生s.
yui & sakura, mizuki & hikaru, hazuki & azusa <3

and i do love a few people from here
elina & anna, kana & emma <3

maybe it really isnt so bad here.

DIHS

i realized that people at DIHS take advantage of the fact that they can speak English. and i know i do this too, but like we use English whenever we don't want other people to hear what we are talking about. and then i realized that 2/3 of the students speak English, therefore, understand what we're saying. 


now, that brings me to this: whats the point in using english if basically everyone understands?


aiiteeee idk what im gonna do but i get the feeling that what we've been doing has been kinda retarded. 








i barely talk to the people in taiwan anymore. 

you think.

you think im a slut.

you think im stupid.

you think im caring.

you think im easy.

you think I’ll do anything that moves.

you think I had it easy back in Taiwan.

you think I like it here.

you think im nice.

you think you know me.

you think I like you.

i.will.prove.you.wrong.

it might take some time for you to believe me. but I will. I will prove you wrong. and when I do, you’re gonna feel bad, even sorry, that you judged me by first impression.

i. will. prove. you. wrong.  

Clarification

I swear to god, my latest posts have been about how mich I hate it here. And some people think exaggerating, but I honestly am not. I have about the entire class thinking I like this person. Now, let me clarify.I think he has a nice body but not my type. And then there's the swim team captain. Idk what her peoblem is, she just took it out on me for no reason.


I miss Taiwan, no jokes.

enough.

if you have sth you wna say to or about me, then tell me face to face, not just to other people. i know we probably wont get along, because i dont like people like you, it just doesnt click with me. but if i decide to join, ill respect u as our captain. i cant gurantee that we'll get along, but ill try.







and i know im in no place to say this to you, but i think u r trying toohard. and if sth doesnt go your way, u take it out on us. thats not right. u need to change that about urself.

End of Summer '10

夏休み終わり直前、いとこと二人で市民プール行ってきました！　カメラで水中写真とか撮ってたら、ライフガードにガン見されてたけど・・・実際、直接注意はされへんかったから、ま、いいっか・・といとこと二人で言いつつ連写！結構日焼けしたし。遊びすぎで疲れたー！　帰りに自動販売機でアイスを買って食べた。久しぶりのアイス＆プール、ハンパなく楽しかったで～　<3

me right there.
and derrick, too
and spring
and also andiecreager. 

please.

I want a guy best friend who gets

 mistaken as my boyfriend. A guy 

best friend is everything you need. 

Another boy who makes your life 

complete. A boy who I can run to 

when my girl BFFs aren’t around. 

He’ll kick my future boyfriend’s arse 

when he makes me cry. He’ll make 

me laugh when there’s tears in my 

eyes. He is immediately my date on 

special occasions when you’re 

single. Idk why. But I really need a 

guy best friend. A real guy best 

friend.

cousins + grandma

selling watermelons! aiiiiteeee 

summer '10

not the best one

but good enough

&& i love my cousins + grandma <3

derrickmoore
peytonharris
kevinbuii
briantong
ericlin
berlincheng
williamcheng
iansilverstein
dianaredza
stephyang
springcow
micahsindelar
ryanmcdougal
andrewlee.

maybe DIHS isn't so bad, after all.

i realize now

that i dont need friends

that try to bring me down.

i just need the ones

who know what im going through,

who know how i feel 

because they all feel the same way.

and our silly moments

in public & in school

and how we just randomly bitch about random sluts

and dreaming about hot guys.

now, those moments totally make my day. 

sakura pennington

yui ishikawa

mizuki kigawa

i love you all

<3

stop fucking pretending to be my fucking best friend. stop waving to me whenever ur fucking friends are around, and stop acting like you give a fuck about me because i know you dont.

u might be enjoying this, along with ur friends and whatnot, but it really bothers the fuck out of me.

ive only been here for five days so far, and uve already got everyone against me.

fuck.you.all

just a quick headsup

just a quick heads up to those of whom don’t understand what im trying to say.

when I say someones hot, or has a really nice body, I don’t mean I like him. it usually just means exactly what I said: he has a nice body. I know theres like, reading what people are really trying to say and all that, but honestly, all im trying to say that he has a nice body, muscular and all, and that im jealous. as an athlete.

and its honestly not that much of a big deal for a girl to say a guy is hot and not like him or vice versa. it is normal for those of us who grew up in a somewhat American environment. okay, it might be weird to all you Japanese people, but seriously. its not something to obsess over.

oh and the reason why I don’t tell you anything anymore? that’s because you went around telling everyone that I liked him. because I thought he was hot. and now the entire class, get this, the ENTIRE FUCKING CLASS looks at me when I entre the classroom. and then they look at him. and he goes all red for some reason and that just causes more misunderstanding. but hey, none of this would’ve happened if you hadn’t told him or anyone and tried to spread rumours. and tried to bring me down. because, heres a news flash, its not working. you’ve only embarrassed your so-called best friend, and I do admit that he is a good person, which probably is the reason why he can’t speak up for himself. and you make things totally awkward by purposefully ignoring me in the morning, because did you see that look on his face? im sure you did, what with you being his best friend and all. he was begging you to stop and you just kept going. I honestly don’t see why you had to “show off” that you guys are best friends. I mean, you guys don’t even talk during school. yeeeh that’s definitely best friends right there. not.

and I also don’t really give a shit about the football team. its rugby that I like, not American football. sure, I think American football is an awesome sport, and I like it, but not as much as rugby. no offence to anyone here, im just trying to explain myself. you keep talking about your football team as if it was your most valued possession. but hey, you quitted that team. you’re not a part of it anymore. do you still talk to the players in the hallway like you used to? no. that’s because you’ve quitted being their manager, and now you’re just another classmate to them. and you should realize that before everyone starts looking at you like an idiot. I know like it was your parents that didn’t want you to keep being the manager and all, but it was you who made the final decision to quit, and if you really wanted to do it, then you would’ve found a way to keep doing it.

and seriously, I’ve only been at the school for three days, and you guys are already trying to cause drama. I don’t like drama. I’ve had my share of drama back in Taiwan, and I don’t need anymore here. and honestly, I am trying my best not to cause any drama. I haven’t really gotten close to anyone here, except for Yui, Sakura, Mizuki, Elina, Anna, Hikaru, Hazuki and Sara. and those people, I know, I could trust, what with us going through the extra classes together and everything.

but seriously, I haven’t done anything. okay, like I don’t wear make up and I don’t wear slutty clothes because I was afraid that was gonna give you guys the wrong impression of who I am and I didn’t want that, because I wanted to go through my life at DIHS without any trouble. but you guys aren’t letting me do that. you take something i’ve said that was completely innocent and spread that around as a rumour. and you know everyones gonna believe you, instead of me. because I don’t know anyone in my class yet. and you took and abused that advantage. that’s called er, not fighting fair or whatever. I really don’t know why you guys are trying to bring me down like this. like, what the hell did I do to you guys. I haven’t really said a word to anyone in the class, except for Kano, which btw was a huge mistake and the reason why im writing this, but still. you guys don’t even know me.

and don’t try to pull that “oh-its-nothing-just-a-routine-for-the-new-kid” crap. because its not. Tomo is fitting in just fine in our class. and its basically only our class. cause the people in B class are honest-to-god-awesome. they don’t spread any false rumors, and they are not so Japanese like you all are. honestly, like, I thought DIHS was more of an international school rather than local school, but I was highly mistaken. like, I know 2/3 of the students came back from overseas and whatnot, but they still do act very Japanese, which btw, is definitely what I detested the most about coming back here.

and to the person that I think has a nice body. you know what I mean when I say you have a really nice body. because you know it yourself, and you also know that I don’t mean that I like you. hell, I’ve only talked to you ONCE. in math class. about rugby and football and swimming. and that basically was the only conversation we’ve had so far. so I don’t know you. so er, how can I like you? think logically for a second, yeah? and you don’t know me, so you cant like me either. another logical statement right there. so why aren’t you trying to do something about what everyones telling you? don’t you get tired of being laughed at, or stared at whenever I walk in the room? and why the fuck do you blush everytime they make fun of you? seriously, get over yourself.

okay, im done for now. but if anyone tries to do this again, or keeps doing it after reading this, I honestly will punch someone in the face. and no, it doenst matter if you’re a girl or a guy.

that’s all.

north & south

north and south. N and S. they do attract each other. like the opposite ends of a magnet.

and whoever said this was right. 

southhh!

i've known you since, like, the beginning of grade 8, almost two years now and we've been through so much! i miss you so muchhh :( gahhhhhhhhh it drives me insane to think that i won't be able to call you and talk on the phone for like an hour like we used to :( 

i love you. no jokes. okay, i might've gotten pissed off at you, maybe twice. but honestly, i appreciate all you've done for me and i really miss our stupid moments. how we'd always run around in the hallway and shout at the top of our lungs hugging each other like crazy freaks. and our starbucks session, once with peyton  & derrick, and another time when i told you about my spidey senses and then you understood why i was saying that it was too loud or too crowded and it was good to finally have someone that understood.  and then the countless times you came to watch me play rugby and we'd hang out a while before we start and i used to whine to you about how i didnt really wanna play and we'd talk about useless shit and yeah. and all the problems & complications we had with the guys and trying to help each other out and our nice talks & inboxes. and planning evil things against people we both disliked. and frolic and afterwards and before and during and everything. and then you disappeared off my life for half a year, but then we picked it up again and then you came over before i left and we talked about pretty much all we went through and how crazy the past couple years has been for us. and i really miss that.

OKAAAY
idk, this is just  a random post, yeh know, so it doenst really mean much but i do love you and we should keep in touch and you should tell me whats going on there and vice versa.

i miss you south :(

-north <3