bold.

summer 2012

H&M rainbow shirt.

path.

i'm often haunted by the thought that i might not be able to go anywhere from here.
sure, i am comfortable with where i am now and i don't quite want to leave this behind yet, but while everyone is "moving up the escalator" as they say at my school, i'm stuck trying to figure out how to even get on the escalator.

it's so hard sometimes, to be doing something completely different from everyone else. and they all look at me like i'm stupid, when i tell them i won't be taking the same path as them.
but i think this is really important. to go my own way.
as my favourite author, JK Rowling, said in her commencement speech at Harvard 2008, as soon as we are old enough to take the wheel for ourselves, the parents' job to steer us in the direction is expired.

i will follow whatever path i lay in front of me, and sometimes, it might lead me nowhere but a dead end. and when that happens, i'm going to accept that as is, and try my hardest to find my way back to the road i want to follow.

only 6 more months to make a decision. so many options, so little time.

little mermaid.

favourite princess.



Look at this stuff
Isn't it neat?
Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?
Wouldn't you think I'm the girl
The girl who has ev'rything?
Look at this trove
Treasures untold
How many wonders can one cavern hold?
Lookin' around here you'd think
Sure
She's got everything

I've got gadgets and gizmos aplenty
I've got whozits and whatzits galore
You want thingamabobs?
I got twenty
But who cares?
No big deal
I want more

I wanna be where the people are
I wanna see
Wanna see 'em dancin'
Walkin' around on those
Whad'ya call 'em?
Oh - feet
Flippin' your fins you don't get too far
Legs are required for jumpin', dancin'
Strollin' along down a
What's that word again?
Street
Up where they walk
Up where they run
Up where they stay all day in the sun
Wanderin' free
Wish I could be
Part of that world

What would I give
If I could live
Outta these waters?
What would I pay
To spend a day
Warm on the sand?
Betcha on land
They understand
Bet they don't reprimand their daughters
Bright young women
Sick o' swimmin'
Ready to stand

And I'm ready to know what the people know
Ask 'em my questions
And get some answers
What's a fire and why does it
What's the word? Burn?

When's it my turn?
Wouldn't I love
Love to explore that shore up above?
Out of the sea
Wish I could be
Part of that world

Part of that world
Part of that world
Part of that world

You stop there right this minute
Your father is going to be very angry with you now

I wanna be where the people are
I wanna see
Wanna see 'em dancin'
Walkin' around on those
Whad'ya call 'em?
Oh - feet
Flippin' your fins you don't get too far
Legs are required for jumpin', dancin'
Strollin' along down a
What's that word again?
Street
Up where they walk
Up where they run
Up where they stay all day in the sun
Wanderin' free
Wish I could be
Part of that world

quote of the day.

"she's not as bad as we thought"

:)
this totally made my day.

maybe it's a sign that we all grew up
and we're wise enough not to dislike somebody without a legitimate reason.
and that we can finally admit we were all wrong
and we can get along well.

it's actually nice talking to them
and working with them because they have ideas that i would've never dreamed of.
they're all good people and more intelligent than i thought
and they have solid opinions of their own that they are willing to express
and that's something i really respect.

confession.

confession #1

when i first moved back, i was sort of bullied. not the kind of bullying you'd see in the movies, it wasn't as obvious as that, but the few who had witnessed it all said that it was legitimate bullying.
i was cyber-bullied, to start with. messages and comments of rude context were sent to me pretty much every day, and formspring was a living hell.

then there were the rumors that spread around before i even got the chance to correct them. i was the last to find out. people i didn't even know, people i've never met, talked behind my back. see, i was one of the few new students. i didn't know them but they knew
e. and because of that, people had a preconception as to who i supposedly am, and they hesitated to interact with me. and when you think about it, the rumors couldn't've been more obvious. they were things like, i moved back because i got pregnant and had an abortion. or like i had sex with the entire swim team, plus the coaches. ehhhh. or that i had been arrested for using illegal drugs and that i was basically sent back to japan by the taiwanese government.
c'mon, when all these starts flying around, you've got to think, well, they can't all be true. but i guess nobody had enough common sense to see that.

and i know, im not trying to be cocky or anything, but i know that those who still believe in the rumors came to talk to me and actually interacted with me now, i can make them see that they are absolutely wrong about me. people that im friends with now have told me that i was the complete opposite of how the numerous rumors portrayed me as, and im truly glad to hear that.

i somehow managed to not care about what people say about me, because 96 % of the time, they're not true. if anything, it sort of amazes me to see the acquiescence in all of the people who still cannot get over the fact that i got neither pregnant nor an abortion.

okay, so that's my little confession there. i feel as though i didn't do anything wrong, so i see no reason to be ashamed of it.

i love my friends that i have now, for accepting me for who i am.

comfortable.

forever 21 turquoise tank top
hollister white tshirt
hollister red cardigan
hollister dark skinny
converse blue & yellow heels

red cardigan, current favourite :)

birthday!

happy 6th birthday, baby cousin :) i love you. you're gonna be great when you get older, with your outgoing personality and determination to accomplish whatever you've started.
an of course, you're gonna be stunning <3

identity.

born in japan. raised in japan. first language? japanese. nationality, japanese.


all of that points to the fact that my "home" should be japan. now, what i think, is that even though i was born and raised in japan, i can't bring myself to call this place "home".
A Japanese girl, lived in Taiwan, went to the American school. enough confusion there. 
i am who i am today, because of what i went through in Taiwan, both good and bad. in all honesty, it's quite fair to say that Taiwan has shaped me up to be who i am now. i wouldn't be "me" if not for the life i lived whilst on that beautiful taiwanese land. and the environment at TAS definitely contributed to me being the person that i am today. 


so let's put away all the facts, for there is no way i can call this place "home". although i've only lived in taiwan for 6 years, taiwan is my home. 

sat school :)

yui and naho <3