balance

its at times like this that i miss tw. like when nothing goes right and i want things to go back the way they were, like in middle school. and im not even blaming anybody, its just how society is in general.
efff i dont even know what im saying.

instant love.

corrupting the innocence of harry potter.

no doubt.

yummmmm.

sunrise.

OPI y'all come back, ya hear
OPI need sunglasses

terrible lighting :(

bucket list!

  my bucket list is fulfilled. i can die now.

:)

justification.

to be honest, i dont think age has anything to do with all of this. i know what i did was wrong and you shouldn't be giving me a way out, you should be mad at me. i get what you are saying about me being sick and needing mental support, and him being heartbroken and our past and all that, but that shouldn't be used as justification for our actions.
because by saying what i did was justified, you're giving yourself a way out if something like this happens with you, and i don't want that.
and you get mad at him but not me. thats downright stupid. it was us doing what was wrong, not just him. i was involved and that fact shouldnt be ignored.
and you say that im supposed to be making mistakes because im still in high school, but i dont see how that works. why do you, all of sudden, treat me like a kid? you always treat me like im older than i really am. and just for this, you talk to me like im a little kid.
and what was that you said about us not being serious? thats complete bullshit.

sometimes i wish you wouldnt be so nice to me. because i dont deserve your benevolence.

important.

i almost lost you once. i don't want to lose you again.
you're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me
and nothing can change that.
you'll always be in my heart
even if things don't work out the way we want it to.


it's nice sleeping to the sound of you talking. or just breathing.
and it's nice waking up and you being the first thing i see.

bolding!

I’m a Girl / Boy.

I am a morning person.

I am a perfectionist. With most things.

I am an only child.

I am Catholic.

I am currently in my PJs.

I am currently pregnant.

I am currently suffering from a broken heart.

I am left handed.

I am married.

I am addicted to MySpace. Twitter.TUMBLR. Facebook.

I’m shy around the opposite sex.

I bite my nails.

I currently regret something I have done.

When I get mad I curse.

I don’t like anyone.

I enjoy country music.

I enjoy jazz music.

I have a car.

I have a cell phone. 

I have a pet.

I have at least one brother or sister.

I have been to another country.

I have been told that I’m smart.

I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humor.

I have had a broken bone.

I have changed a lot over the past year.

I have had surgery.

I have killed another person. 

I have had my hair cut within the last week.

I have had the cops called on me.

I have kissed someone I knew I shouldn’t.

I have kissed someone of the same gender.

I have mood swings.

I have rejected someone before.

I have seen the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

I have watched Sex and the City.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Shakespeare.

I love to cook. 

I love Michael Jackson.

I love sleeping.

I love to shop.

I miss someone right now.

I own over 100 CDs.

I own over 100 DVDs.

I own and use a library card.

I practice a religion that is not considered mainstream.

I read books for pleasure in my spare time.

I sleep a lot during the day.

I strongly dislike math.

I think Britney Spears is pretty.

I will try ALMOST anything once. 

I work at a job that I enjoy.

I would classify myself as ghetto.

I can name all seven dwarfs from Snow White.

I am currently wearing socks. 

I am tired.

I am currently waiting for someone.

I lost contact with someone.

I hate Miley Cyrus.

I think Party In The USA is catchy.

I would date Harry Potter

I am American.

I can name all the past presidents of the United States.

I know who was president before George Bush.

I love pickles. 

I need the internet to live.

I prefer vanilla over chocolate.

I watched Star Trek.

I watched all six movies of Star Wars.

I own an Xbox.

I think music is life.

Music-BOLD THE ONES YOU LIKE-

One Direction. Acceptance. Coldplay. Dave Matthews Band. David Bowie. Foo Fighters. Hellogoodbye. The Killers. Blunt James. Teddy Geiger. Linkin Park. Muse. Ok Go. Panic At The Disco. Peter Bjorn. The Postal Service. Timbaland. Jack Johnson. SHINee.Norah Jones. Drake. The Fray. The Wreckers. Michael Buble. Beyoncé. Metallica. Massive Attack. Queen. Journey. The Cars.Supertramp. Eurythmics. Sublime. The Red Hot Chili Peppers. Wu-tang Clan. Fergie. Sarah McLachlan. Band of Horses. John Mayer. Jason Mraz. Justin Timberlake. Michael Jackson. Kenny Chesney. Carrie Underwood. Lynyrd Skynyrd. Neil Young. The Beatles. Brad Paisley. Tim McGraw. Taylor Swift. P. Diddy. Jay Z. Lil’ Wayne. Lil’ Jon. Three 6 ia. Nelly. Young Joc. T.I. Sean Paul. 50 Cent. Eminem. Eiffel 65. Ace of Base. The Underdog Project. Dream Theater. Santana. Alicia Keys. Incubus. Victor Wooten. Ludacris. Gorillaz. Matchbox 20.Paramore. Say Anything. Taking Back Sunday. Eric Clapton. The Darkness.Weezer. Maroon 5. The Eagles. Jimi Hendrix. T.A.T.u. Billy Joel. Billy Idol. Matt Wertz. Reel Big Fish. Anberlin. Mae. Family Force 5. AC/DC. Hootie and the Blowfish. Electric Six. Outkast. R.E.M. The White Stripes. Prince. MIKA. Crystal Castles. Britney Spears. Spice Girls. The Gossip. Lady GaGa. Eagles. Nirvana. Smashing Pumpkins. Third Eye Blind. Metro Station.Motion City Soundtrack. The Rocket Summer.The Cab. Tenacious D. Something Corporate. The Moldy Peaches. Macy Gray. Mandy Moore. Plain White T’s. Yeah Yeah Yeahs. My Chemical Romance. Fall Out Boy. The Rolling Stones. A Rocket to the Moon. Angels & Airwaves. The Beastie Boys. Black Eyed Peas. Boys Like Girls. Jonas Brothers. Demi Lovato. Selena Gomez. The Cure. Cobra Starship. Death Cab for Cutie. Katy Perry. Deftones. Team Sleep. Filter. Goo Goo Dolls. Honor Society. Kid Cudi. AllStar Weekend. Down With Webster.LMFAO. Five Iron Frenzy. Tally Hall. Florence & The Machine. Gym Class Heroes. Justin Bieber. Travie McCoy. Mcfly. Never shout never. Vampire Weekend. Neverstore. All time low. David Archuleta. 30 Seconds to Mars. Regina Spektor. 

Movies -BOLD THE ONES YOU’VE SEEN-

Glory Road. Pride and Prejudice. The Princess Bride. Goonies. Center Stage. Seven. Ocean’s Eleven. Newsies. 300. Robin Hood: Men In Tights. Love Actually. Donnie Darko. My Best Friend’s Wedding. Garden State. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Wedding Crashers. Anchorman. Drop Dead Gorgeous.Elf. Zoolander. Austin Powers. Clueless. Mean Girls. Hairspray.Moulin Rouge. Fight Club. Pulp Fiction. What A Girl Wants. Kill Bill. Rocky Horror Picture Show. Thank You For Smoking. Little Miss Sunshine. Requiem for a Dream. The Departed. Dawn of the Dead. Memento. The Lovely Bones. 17 Again. 8 Mile. Office Space. Snakes on a Plane. Boondock Saints. The Silence of the Lambs. Say Anything. Saving Private Ryan.Superbad. THE PRESTIGE. Just Friends. Under the Tuscan Sun. Titanic. Steel Magnolias. Saw. Ace Ventura.She’s the Man. Because I Said So. Catch and Release. Music and Lyrics. Spanglish. Stick It. The Fast and the Furious. Joyride. Halloween. The Italian Job. Crash. Must Love Dogs. The Last Kiss. Chicago. Harry Potter. Rush Hour. Breakfast at Tiffany’s.Clerks. Shooter.The Bourne Identity. Meet the Fockers. Dirty Dancing. A Christmas Story. Rudy. National Treasure.Sleepless in Seattle. Miss Congeniality. The Science of Sleep.The Matrix. Everything is Illuminated. Good Will Hunting. Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Empire Records. PHANTOM OF THE OPERA. District 9. Lord of the Rings. Click. Scarface. The Notebook. Twilight. New Moon. Eclipse. The Breakfast Club. Sixteen Candles.

TV -BOLD THE ONES YOU’VE WATCHED MORE THAN A COUPLE OF TIMES- 

Saved by the Bell. Man vs. Wild. Scrubs. ER.South Park. America’s Next Top Model. Gossip Girl. Sex and the City.Friends. Dawson’s Creek. The Big Bang Theory. Seinfeld. Fraiser. The Office. Lost. Miami Ink. Made. Arrested Development. That 70’s Show. Family Guy. The Simpsons.Veronica Mars. Project Runway. Bones. Iron Chef. Alias. Pushing Dasies. Gilmore Girls. The Colbert Report. The Daily Show. Mythbusters. Avatar: The Last Airbender. Will and Grace. 24. House. To Catch A Predator. Whistler. Heroes. Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Unsolved Mysteries. 7th Heaven. Everybody Loves Raymond.Boston Legal. Bleach. What I Like About You. Reba. Rosanne. King of Queens.Survivor. The O.C. American Idol. Days of Our Lives. General Hospital. CSI. How I met your mother. Boy Meets World. Law and Order. Numb3rs. Reno 911. I Love New York. Step by Step. Little People Big World. What Not To Wear. My Wife and Kids. Supernatural. Moonlight. Ace of Cakes. White Collar. Nip/Tuck. The Biggest Loser. Beauty and the Geek. Battlestar Galactica. Stargate SG1. The Inferno. Scarred. Wild N Out. Real World. Pranked. Beverly Hills; 90210. 90210. Trinity Blood. Dead Like Me. Whose Line is it Anyway?. Glee. Dragon Ball Z. Futurama. Degrassi. Greek. Secret Life of the American Teenager. The Hills. Laguna Beach.Firefly. Vampire Diaries. Doctor Who. Medium. Star Trek. X-files. Cowboy BeBop. ghost whisperer. Sailor Moon. My Name is Earl. Six Feet Under. Dancing With The Stars. Desperate Housewives.Lie to me. Misfits. Merlin. Fringe.

escape.

i wish i had one of these
not to stalk on people like some creepy weird lady
but simply to know my escape routes.


or better yet,

going to hogwarts would work just fine too.


and play quidditch.

but im afraid of heights so maybe not. 

want!

17 again.

music.

even though she doesn't believe in love
he's determined to call her bluff
who could deny these butterflies
they're filling his gut 
- Remembering Sunday, All Time Low

reflection.

so like, in about three weeks, it would be two years since i started this blog.
there were times when i kept posting photos with no comment of my own so it wasn't really my own blog
but lately, i think i've put a lot of my thoughts into each posts.


the reason why i started this was because i was bored during chinese new year 2010. yes. 
but now this is a place where i can express how i feel inside or what i think about, or just spazz about things.
and i think its really important to have a place like that.


people can judge me based on what i write, but i know that things i write that are insulting or negative is only temporarily. writing that here releases stress and thats why its bearable to be back in this country.
i read back to some of the posts i've written in the past two years and realized that my worded posts were basically posted after i moved back
and that just makes me realize how hard it is for me to be back, to be away from what i'm used to.
but at the same time, i want people to know that i don't hate every minute that i spend here.
i have fun at school, i learned to differentiate the type of friends i have here and there, and although, if you only read what i write in my blog about school and japan, it seems horrible, the truth is, it's actually not that bad.
at first, it was pretty bad. like til december 2010, maybe? but 2011 was way better than i had expected it to be.


now it sounds like im complaining again. but im not. truly. i love going to the theatres & shopping with my friends and just hanging out in general. i love the place i work at and the variety of people i get to work with. i have a goal now, to work towards, and i don't really mind going to school everyday. i like how people aren't attached to each other, or at least people i'm close to, and im glad we can confide in each other. 


i can't take back what i had written. i could delete posts, but if somebody's already seen it, then theres no use deleting it. damage has been done. and by deleting posts, im denying the feelings that i got when certain things happened, and i decided that in 2012, im going to be honest with myself. what i had written are what i felt AT THE TIME, and although i may not think of things as i did before, i sincerely apologize to anybody whose feelings have been hurt by what i had written. or if anyone felt somewhat insulted. even if it wasn't directed at you. and you just thought it  was. i apologize if any of my posts have made anyone, and i do mean anyone, feel bad. i'm sorry. and to be honest, there are people that misunderstood me when we first met, and we act like we dislike each other, but some of the people like that, i really want to be friends with. i hear things from our mutual friends and honestly, you guys dont sound so bad. i know that the fault is with me, for doing whatever it is that made you misunderstand me in the first place, but i would like to start over. again, highly doubt they're reading this, maybe its no use writing it here. but im just saying. 


i plan to put my blog into good use this year. and maybe, sometimes i'll get bored and post bunch of photos but i think this is a good place to work on my writing skills as well as expressing my thoughts & opinions, so that'll be the main purpose of this from now on.

three days left!

last three days as a 16 year old! my 16th birthday was the first i've had since i moved back, and it was pretty disappointing. i had always imagined my 16th birthday party, i would've been training for iasas on my birthday so my sweet 16 wouldn't be so sweet and and and.....


anyways, i plan to enjoy the last three days as much as i can
and i definitely look forward to turning 17 :)

drug of choice.

Are you independent?
i like to think i am.

What do you have pierced on you?
nothing.

When was the last time you cried?
last night. but that was only because i was laughing too hard.

i actually haven't cried of sadness in a long time. 

:)

Who knows your secrets?
my best friends.

Can you see a stuffed animal from where you're sitting?
yeah.

Could you spend a week with one person?
sure.

How old will you be in 4 years?
20!

What's wrong with you right now?
i'm stuck on my essay.

Does it bother you when people spell/type your name incorrectly?
unless its a nickname we've agreed upon, yes.

Is there anyone you trust who you shouldn't?
possibly.

Think back 5 months ago, were you single?
yep.

Does it bother you when you text somebody and they take forever to respond?
not really.

Have you ever fallen asleep texting someone?
yeah.

Do you think anyone has feelings for you?
i sure hope so.

Are you a patient person?
not at all.

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months?
with the right person, yeah.

If you could go back in time and change something, would you?

i used to say yes to this question

but now that i really think about it, no. i wouldn't change a thing.

Are you a forgiving person?
not really.

Are you crazy at times?
yeah, i assume so. but of course, who isnt?

When is the next time you'll kiss someone?
soon, hopefully.

Have you ever felt completely broken?
i have.

Do you have a favorite football team or do you not care?
Pittsburgh Steelers!

Do your initials spell out a word?
KS. nope.

Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?
yeah.

Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?
no way.

Are you satisfied with what you currently have in life?

very satisfied.

Do you think you'll have the same best friends a year from now?
hopefully yes.

How's your life lately?
it's pretty good.

Is anything bothering you?
that i can't think of what to write for my essay.

Does it bother you when someone lies to you?

if i know that he/she is lying, yeah.

Met anyone new this year?
i actually have.

Did you ever like someone you didnt expect to?
yeah. i did. for a long time.

Anyone of the opposite sex you could tell anything to?
a couple of people.

How did you get your last bruise?
i banged my knees against the corner of a desk.

If you are being extremely quiet what does that mean?
i'm deep in thought or i just don't like to socialize.

Will this weekend be a good one?
yes :)

Where is your biological father right now?
in tokyo!

Do you think your life story would make a great movie?
yeah, full of ups and downs.

Is your room clean?
actually, it's pretty clean atm.

Do you like being around a large group of friends, or a best friend?
depends on how i'm feeling.

Is there a night you would like to put on repeat, and live it forever?
oh yeah.

You kissed someone last night, didn't you?
:)

What are you sick of?
people pretending like they know me.

pressure.

Could you date someone taller than you?
of course.

Next time you will kiss someone?
soon, hopefully.

Are you mad at anyone?
not really.

Are you mean?
to some extent.

Give me a random lyric from the song you're listening to?
i don't want to see your vajayjay.

What color are your eyes?
dark dark brown.

Do you find it easier to forgive or forget?
forgive.

Would you ever stay with someone just because you didn't want to break their heart?
no. that's rude to the person i'm dating.

Do you hate being alone?
sometimes.

What is something you currently want?
something to drink. thirsty.

Where is the next place you will travel to?
taiwan, hopefully!

Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?
because we somewhat liked each other.

Have you ever worn the opposite sexes underwear?
yeah.

Have you cried today at all?
nope.

What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?
waking up. reluctantly.

When was the last time you cried the hardest?
yesterday!

Do you say sexy a lot?
not really.

When was the last time you had a sleepover?
last night!

Do you have any gay/bi friends?
yeah.

When did you last throw up?
i don't recall.

Do you want to get married & have children one day?
of course.

If you could, would you date a jock?
if i liked him.

Ever made out in a pool?
yes.

Where is your default picture taken?
a swimming pool <3

Have you ever gambled in a casino?
nope

Do you like to have long hair or short hair?
long.

What is your favorite color?
blue. or pink. or purple. or yellow. or green.

basically anything bright. 

Where do you keep your money?
in my wallet.

What was the weather like today?
it was okay, a little cold.

Where are your mom and dad?
mum downstairs, dad in tokyo.

Do you want to cut your hair?
nope, i'm good now.

What is your favorite place to shop?
hollister!

How do you feel about public display of affection?
I don’t really mind.

What does your last text say? From who?
11:30am tmrw morning! in front of MUJI, 'cause you know where THAT is, yeah? 

What is in your backpack right now?
english folder, chemistry folder, a pack of loose leaf paper, a few textbooks, wallet, lipstick, eye drops, gum, train ticket, pencil case, bandages, schedule book, small umbrella & some candies.                                  

What are you doing right now?
this + essay + fb+ mixi.

What time did you wake up this morning?
8!

Is there anybody you wish you could be spending time with right now?
yeah.

Have you ever kissed anyone within an hour of meeting them?
not within an hour.

What are you doing tomorrow?
going to a mini-live with naho

birthday party @ ikuto's house 

sleepover!

Would you ever live with any of your best friends?
I'd love to.

Have you ever looked at the stars with someone?
that'll be our summer tradition :)

How's your hair right now?
a mess. i haven't been out of the house today.

Have you ever hooked up with someone just to make someone jealous?
no.

Do you have an attitude?
sometimes i do.

Will this weekend be a good one?
yes.

Will tomorrow be better than today?
definitely.

Do you think relationships are even worth it?
yes

Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your own bed?
at a friend's house.

Were you happy when you woke up today?
yes.

What should you really be doing right this moment?
essay.

Mcdonalds, Chicken Treat, KFC, Red Rooster?
Mickey D's! 

i dont think they have chicken treat & red rooster in japan. and KFC isnt good.

Who was the last person you high-fived?
ayuna!

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
not really. i wouldn't want to change a thing.

but i do want to re-live IASAS again, so i guess yeah.  

Are you stubborn?
sometimes

What will you be doing this weekend?
live, bday party, sleepover, shopping & essay.

Would you kiss anyone you have texts from in your phone?
yes

The person you HAVE/HAD the strongest feelings for dies, do you care?
yes

When was the last time you ran?
yesterday.

If you had to dye your hair a color what color would it be?

dark brown.

Do you toss & turn for hours at night or fall right to sleep?
depends. lately, i fall right to sleep. which is good. 

Was this the best summer of your life?
one of them

Have you seen someone recently you really like?
yes.

Are you a shy person?
not really.

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
I really truly hope so.

Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor?
fainted.

Would you rather love one person or have many short relationships?
i used to say i'd rather love one person

but right now, i guess it's alright to have many short relationsihps.

but still. love one person. 

Do you ever feel curious about how people see you?
yes. too much, really.

Do you remember who you liked on New Years?
yes.

Who was it?
:)

How many cellphones have you had?
5

Do you think that you’re a good person?
sometimes.

Is there someone who you can spend every minute with and not get annoyed?
yes.

Do you still speak to any of your classmates from elementary school?
actually, i do.  

dwelling with the past.

a person i love and respect asked me a question today: 

if your 10 year old self met you, would she be proud?

to be honest, no. i've gotten so caught up in how people see me, i've forgotten to be myself. and even in grade 5, i kept wondering why everyone had to be the same all the time. i was okay with being different when i was at TAS because everyone was who they wanted to be and it was normal to be different. that changed when i moved back and i'm way beyond disappointed. i know it was my choice to care, but i wish i hadn't made that choice. 

on the other hand, there is a small part of me that thinks me-before might be proud of me-now. i have a goal, time and resources to work towards that goal and people who support me. and that, i didn't have when i was 10. because i didn't have a legitimate end point, or time for it was enough for me to try to live my life. 

i don't know how far i've come in the past couple of years but as i look back, there are a few things off the top of my head that i know i couldn't have done without my family and friends and teammates and coaches & teachers.

and im thankful for everyone that has played a role in my life, small or big. 

to sum it up, if me-before met me-now, she'd be proud of who i am now, but not the process of how i got here. i don't know if that's a good thing or not, but at least, it's better than knowing me-before won't be proud at all. 

word.

75 questions to ask yourself.

1. Why not me? 
> because i have problems. 

2. Am I nice? 
> to certain people, yes. 

3. Am I doing what I really want to do? 
> not currently but mainly, yes. 

4. What am I grateful for? 
> my family & friends. 

5. What’s missing in my life? 
> understanding. 

6. Am I honest? 
> to certain people, yes. 

7. Do I listen to others?
> i dont listen to everyone but some people's words, i listen to.  

8. Do I work hard? 
> depends on what i'm working on.

9. Do I help others? 
> if i can be of help. 

10. What do I need to change about myself? 
> insecurity.                                      

11. Have I hurt others? 
> i guess so.

12. Do I complain? 
> more than i should.

13. What’s next for me? 
> question number 14.

14. Do I have fun? 
> sometimes.

15. Have I seized opportunities? 
> i assume so.

16. Do I care about others? 
> yes.

17. Do I spend enough time with my family? 
> if anything, i spend time with them too much.

18. Am I open-minded? 
> hope so.

19. Have I seen enough of the world? 
> i guess so.

20. Do I judge others? 
> yes.

21. Do I take risks? 
> sometimes.

22. What is my purpose? 
> that's a good question.

23. What is my biggest fear? 
> change. absence.                

24. How can I conquer that fear? 
> by getting used to it. getting used to change is okay, but absence? no way.

25. Do I thank people enough? 
> i hope so.

26. Am I successful? 
> no.

27. What am I ashamed of? 
> a lot of things.

28. Do I annoy others? 
> yes.            

 

29. What are my dreams? 
> that's for me to know and for you to find out :)

30. Am I positive? 
> sometimes.

31. Am I negative? 
> sometimes.

32. Is there an afterlife? 
> maybe.

33. Does everything happen for a reason? 
> yeah.

34. What can I do to change the world? 
> small things.

35. What is the most foolish thing I’ve ever done? 
> i dont actually know.

36. Am I cheap? 
> hope not.

37. Am I greedy? 
> hope not.

38. Who do I love? 
> my family.


39. Who do I want to meet? 
> people i haven't seen in ages.

40. Where do I want to go? 
> the american university. or rutgers, new jersey.  

41. What am I most proud of? 
> i dont know. i guess IASAS or something.

42. Do I care what others think about me? 
> i used to. but not anymore.

43. What are my talents? 
> i don't know. swimming?

44. Do I utilize those talents? 
> oh yeah, i guess.

45. What makes me happy? 
> a lot of things.

46. What makes me sad? 
> a lot of things.

47. What makes me angry? 
> just a few things.

48. Am I satisfied with my appearance? 
> no way.

49. Am I healthy? 
> i guess so.

50. What was the toughest time in my life? 
> when my grandpa passed away.

51. What was the easiest time in my life? 
> when i was in kindergarten. 

52. Am I selfish? 
> i hope not.

53. What was the craziest thing I did? 
> i dont know.

54. What is the craziest thing I want to do? 
> climb the tokyo tower or something. i dont know. 

55. Do I procrastinate? 
> all the time.

56. What is my greatest regret? 
> holding on.

57. What has had the greatest impact on my life? 
> my grandpa passing away. and the letter he wrote me.

58. Who has had the greatest impact on my life? 
> my grandparents. and daddy. 

59. Do I stand up for myself? 
> i try to.

60. Have I settled for mediocrity? 
> hopefully not.

61. Do I hold grudges? 
> sometimes.

62. Do I read enough? 
> yeah. way more than enough.

63. Do I listen to my heart? 
> not at all.

64. Do I donate enough to the less fortunate? 
> no. 

65. Do I pray only when I want something? 
> i dont pray most of the time.

66. Do I constantly dwell on the past? 
> yes. it's kind of hard not to.


67. Do I let other people’s negativity affect me? 
> no, i try not to let others bring me down.

68. Do I forgive myself? 
> no.

69. When I help someone do I think “What’s in it for me”? 
> nope. i just help whenever its needed.

70. Am I aware that someone always has it worse than me? 
> of course.

71. Do I smile more than I frown? 
> i used to.

72. Do I surround myself with good people? 
> yes.

73. Do I take time out for myself? 
> yeah.

74. Do I ask enough questions? 
> i assume so.

75. What other questions do I have?
> none really. 

hope.

for what it's worth, i don't think you're a waste of my time. i may not have opened up to you as much as i have to other people but that's just because we've only met a few weeks ago and i don't know you as well as i know the others.
i need some time to get used to new people, and that, honestly, takes a long time. it's my problem and there's absolutely nothing wrong with you.
to be honest, i love spending time with you and im hoping you'll get over this and we can be much closer :)